desperately need advice

I have two parts to my answer to your question. The first has to do with what women find attractive. You may have noticed that lots of women flock to men who are “bad boys” or the kind of men who don’t treat women all that well. In other words, good guys finish last. It’s true.

If this woman you want isn’t interested in you, it may be because you’re too easy to get! If you stop being so available to her, and don’t give her so much attention, she may find you more interesting and desirable. If she sees that other women want you, and you’re interested in other women more than you are her, she may think there’s something she’s missing when she passed you over for your friend, and this may bother her enough to seek you out.

However, the other part of my answer is that if she’s just not interested in you, then by making that clear, she’s done you a favor. Thank goodness you haven’t wasted much time on someone who’s not interested in you. Sometimes I hear from people who’ve invested an entire year in someone who just never intended to be with them as anything more than a friend with benefits at best. Broken hearts ensue.

In order to meet someone fabulous for you, you have to play what I call The Numbers Game, which means you have to increase your odds in dating. The more women you consider and date, the more likely you are to find someone who is right for you and thinks you’re as great as you think she is. Getting up to bat is more important than hitting that home run. Not every batter who gets up to bat hits a home run — in fact the best home run hitters only make that grand slam rarely, but when they do, oh boy, is it great.

So if she’s not the one, silently thank her for making it clear, and move on to someone who might be.

Sorry Stevi, sounds to me she’s not interested in you. Fact is you can’t force someone to like you, the more you try the further away you will push them.

You just gotta be confident and respect yourself first, i can’t stress this enough. Look, don’t be a doormat and don’t be a jerk either. On the flip side, dating someone too far to one side of the spectrum (nice/jerk) is also bad for you. You’ll need to find the balance.

I know this is simplifying it, but it basically come down to…
If you are secure and confident, you will attract secure and confident people.
If you are insecure as a woman, you will attract jerks.
If you are insecure as a man, you’ll attract a bitch.

Just don’t go confusing selfishness for confidence (jerk). Build confidence & balance and that walking away from a bad relationship is much better than trying to make it work with a “broken” person.

Oh one last thing, if your attracted to someone, just simply chat and see if they want to go out (i don’t mean hang out with a bunch of friends). Don’t do the friendship-in-hope-of-something-intimate dance, because you’re likely to get friend-zoned.

Hope this helps.