is he playing games??i am confused

He isn’t playing games with you. He’s just not interested in you as a girlfriend right now because you were too pushy for him. He’s on a much slower clock than you are, but bottom line is that you broke a cardinal dating rule: Don’t chase men!

You should be attractive, charming and flirtatious. But if you are all that and he doesn’t ask you out after a conversation, or try to contact you again, then he’s not interested, and you should move on to other men who may be interested. Or in this case, maybe he was going to contact you, or maybe he wanted to run into you in person again before asking you out — but you took that opportunity away from him by pushing yourself on him. When a man rejects you — even if it’s just for now — it’s a gift because if you accept the gift, you don’t waste time or emotional energy like you’ve done.

In addition to which, at some point in time, this guy might have decided that he was in a place (socially, emotionally, financially or some other way or combination of ways) to want to ask you out. If you hadn’t gone after him and created drama, he might have still held out that image of you as an attractive former neighbor of his who he’d like to get in contact with. You see, men like to chase women because it makes them feel naturally good about being a man. It’s their instinct to hunt, chase and capture. When you give them something to hunt, chase and capture, in yourself, you’re giving them a big prize, so that if and when they do win you over, they feel like they’ve done something really great, and gotten a big prize. They feel good about themselves because of what they’ve done. When you chase them, you take that dynamic away from them.

When a man has a great conversation with you in person and doesn’t ask for any way to contact you to meet further, he’s not interested in a date. Possibly at that time, or possibly ever. But you have to let him run the dating show in terms of doing the asking out and the asking for phone numbers, e-mail addresses, etc. He’s 35. He knows how to get your contact information. In fact, he knows where your parents live. If he wanted to ask you out on a date, he knew how to find you. But he didn’t. At that time. You should have let it all be.

When you contacted him on Facebook, you chased him. When he rejected your Facebook friendship request, you chased him [i]again[/i] by emailing him and chastising him. Bad move. There was no reason to scold him for not “friending” you on Facebook. He didn’t do anything wrong. When he finally did add you, then read your e-mail and took you off of his Facebook page as a friend, and told you he didn’t like your e-mail, you should understand, that there’s no confusion. He isn’t playing games. To him, you’re being really pushy and demanding. He’s not interested.

You feel badly because you acted too quickly, and wrongly. You shouldn’t have told him your feelings, let alone been the aggressor — even on a website. So, as for the bad feelings you’re having about yourself….learn what you did and what you’ll do next time with someone else, instead. If you really feel badly, that is going to be a tool and it’s going to help you NOT do the same thing next time. It’s like when kids touch a hot stove and burn themselves badly enough not to want to do it again. So feel badly, and learn from your mistakes. We [i]all[/i] make them, but only the best of us learn from them, and I believe you’re part of the latter group.

If you do ever see him again, smile, wave and don’t start the conversation. If after a while he does start a conversation, and your past behavior does come up, make light of it, but be clear that you made a mistake. You can even say, “I’m sorry — I shouldn’t written what I did. I don’t do [i]that[/i] kind of thing any more!” And laugh. Who knows. You may get another shot with this guy.