Mixed signals, Not over her ex, Confused.

Hi guys.. I would like your opinion on my situation. I myself normally would have some idea of what to do in a relationship yet the situation I am in now is hard for me to understand, yet I know this is the right girl for me. I tried to keep the story length to a minimum because I feel like I could write a novel 🙂

Heres the story:
I met this girl about 5months ago through my family as they were close friends with her family. We got it off straight away, we had a lot of interests and always had things to talk about and from the first moment of talking to her there was an instant attraction though at that time she had a boyfriend and we lived far from each other. For the three months almost everyday we spent a couple of hours chatting online and messaging each other everyday. At times she would suddenly become cold and when I asked her why she would say she has a boyfriend of 3 years and that she felt as she was cheating as she spent more time talking to me and was more interested in me then him. Due to him being very controlling she used to hide the fact that we used to talk to each other a lot. As we progressed we soon realized that we both wanted the same things in our lives and our future and during the times we spoke we would always end up talking about the many things that may be a result if we had a future together.

I soon realized that I have fallen head over heels for this girl and I even realized that ishe felt the same though we never mentioned it to each other. At times even admitted she wished she met me earlier, but also mentioned she would not leave her boyfriend until he left her.
I then happened to graduate and got a job closer to her place and not before long our phone and internet conversations become regular meetings with each other.

Her boyfriend became wearier of the amount of time we spent together and started to ask questions. I often offered to spend some time apart but she never wanted that and insisted we spent time with each other as friends and nothing would happen. Then one day her bf went through her phone and found out what was actually going on between us. He made her choose and being the person she is she choose him over me and cut off all communication with me. I found it hard to accept at first and consoled in her cousin (girl) who I had developed a friendship with when I was talking to this girl. When she found out I was starting to talk alot to her cousin she got really jealous and couldn’t accept it then she came out and told her boyfriend that she was in love with me and wanted to be with me and although the boyfriend did not accept it, she left him.

After this we begun to pick off where we left off and in the following weeks we begun to be open about the fact we have feelings for each other and to some extent we started to play the boyfriend/girlfriend roll with each other. I waited for about 2 weeks before I asked her if she was ready for a relationship she together and her answer would be no. She could not explain why she wasn’t ready but she always said we are taking things too fast, even though she told me she had feelings for me and she wants to be with me. I respected her decision and have been doing the relationship things with her (going out together, calling each other every night, making out etc) but not actually having a relationship. Once when I was with her, her ex messaged to ask her where she was and what she was doing, She then told me that it wasn’t the first time he messaged her asking those things, and that she was too scared to say anything so she didn’t and I told her to tell him to leave her alone. She said she didn’t want to talk start a conversation with him and she is going to leave it until he gets the message.

Now what seems to be the problem is that last week she told me that I was free to do what I want. She said that we are friends and not in a relationship so that means we don’t have to listen to each other and said that I am free to go flirt and do what I please with other girls. And something else that is interesting is that in the last week, our conversations have ended up in an argument usually with her saying that I don’t act like I care about her and she starts picking out all these faults about me which she didn’t beforehand. Now she is telling me that every time when I don’t act like I care she thinks of her ex and how he used to care for her and that she wasn’t sure leaving him was the right thing to do. And she would never be ready soon as she feels guilty and at the end of the day she hasn’t really decided on who she wants. Now when we talk or message it seems a bit to much formal, yet she still calls me at least twice a day and messages me often.

And now the question I ask is what do I do.. I love this girl a lot, but at times I can’t help being that person who she takes out her anger on for what happens then tells me she isn’t sure who she wants or when she would be ready.