Hello, We have been dating for 4-5 months only. We are both in our mid to late 40’s and both have been married before, although its been many years since our marriages ended. He shows all of the classic symptoms of being a commitment phobe, unfortunately. He came on very strong and now pulls back whenever he feels scared of the intimate feelings he has for me. He has actually admitted to the fact that he has commitment and relationship fears.
I agree that he’s also being passive aggressive in this behavior and yes, he did seem angry. But part of my confusion was why he was angry at me when he himself did the exact same thing the same day….not contacting me all day. It felt like he was perhaps picking a fight in order to create distance? My question is how do I handle it when he does that in a constructive and non combative way and not being passive aggressive myself? He will also sometimes hint that he wants to see me but will then say…”I know you’re busy.” so maybe another time. I believe this is another commitment phobic tactic he uses, to make it seem he wants to see me but in reality he’s not feeling he can let his guard down and connect at that moment in time, so he tries to put it on me. Do I address these behaviors head on and let him know how they disturb me?
