DiAngelo
Last Sat. we had a date for a car show. Then went to a restaurant. There, got into a conversation that triggered him greatly. Called for the check and left the restaurant. Had other plans but he drove me home and said good night. I was upset but he did not comfort me. That felt awful. Didn’t hear from him next day and only conversations all week was about work. He was very distant and only talked via texting and only the facts. I was greatly disturbed and it raised alot of fear and abandonment issues for me, which I tried very hard not to react to.
Last night he had to come over to practice a troweling technique for this job. I told myself I didn’t want to have sex with him, due to how the week was and knew I’d feel awkward about it. He was very engaging , but didn’t want to talk about it. I caved in and had sex with him. I regret caving in. Feel it sent message that he can ignore me, not comfort me etc. and I’ll engage intimately with him anyway. How do I now, handle this? With myself and with him? How do ,I in the future, express that I don’t feel comfortable having sex during a time like this when it’s something we do regularly? Caved because I thought I’d feel better being close to him (needed the comfort I thought it would bring me) and because I hate confrontation. I feel like I compromised myself and my dignity. Also, I don’t want to communicate this in a game-playing way or come across as being too harsh. I wish I’d said to him that I needed to talk about what happened Sat. before I could connect with him sexually. Please help.