[AskApril Masini]

Here’s what you do, although you’re not going to like my advice, I’m pretty sure: You stop seeing this guy and stop being friends with him. He’s married. It’s not your business whether he married her for the right or wrong reasons, or whether he loves her or not. Butt out. He bought a ring, proposed, and showed up at his wedding. At the very least. Respect his marriage the way you would want someone else to respect yours. Better yet, respect yourself enough not to toy with someone who’s unavailable.

He’s already told you his history of emotional abuse, and he’s clearly troubled. The questions is why would you want to reunite? Are you so desperate for love that you’d take if from someone who’s not all there for his own wife? Or you? It’s not your job or your responsibility to fix this guy. Nor can you. That’s his life. You need to live yours.

I’d like to tell you that you deserve the love of a man who wants all of you and wants to give you all of himself and will be loyal to you and know that you will be loyal to him. I’d like you to want that for yourself. But as long as you allow yourself the fantasy that this guy will someday be that person, you’re never going to heal yourself. That’s why I want you to cut off from this guy completely. Work on yourself. Focus on your job, on your family and friends. Go to pilates or take tai chi. Learn to salsa dance or give yourself a full blown out makeover!

You deserve to live life at the best of your ability. You can do better than this.