AskApril MasiniYour question is complex and I really need to have more information to give you a good and complete answer, however I will do the best I can with what you’ve told me.
I don’t need to tell you … your situation isn’t an easy one. I also don’t need to tell you that you should never push someone in to having sex before they are ready. Equally, I respect and admire someone who is able is maintain wholesome morals and values in a society which has become morally bankrupt… I also admire your desire to maintain your relationship and the respect you are demonstrating towards your girlfriend, her values and your relationship. You are indeed a gem and a rare find!
That said, it is clear that friction and tension will continue to build in your relationship if some sort of relief is not afforded you. And I believe that a compromise is in order.
To that end, I suggest that you have a calm and open discussion with your girlfriend about how the two of you might be able to satisfy your needs, without compromising her values. There are lots of things you can do without actually having sex (you mentioned some of them in your post) and those things will probably need to be explored for this relationship to last. Do not wait until you are in the heat of an argument to have the discussion. Have it when you are both in a calm state or you will likely both become defensive and nothing will get resolved.
While you did not speak to this, I suspect that your girlfriend is religious. If so, perhaps you could explore couples counseling through her church?
You may also want to read through a couple of Dr. Diana Wiley’s columns, here are a few links:
Tips on kissing:
First time sex tips:
Spice up my sex life:
I wish you the best of luck.
