"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

Re: Dating with Kids, Should I feel bad?

#8584
AskApril Masini
Keymaster

Well, depending on the type of relationship you are interested in, my response will vary. If you were just interested in casual dating, my response would be completely different than if you were interested in a long term relationship. That said, I’m going to assume you are interested in a long term relationship.

My first piece of advice is — listen to your instincts! Next, I recommend that you give your girlfriend and your relationship some space while you give yourself the opportunity to assess if the two of you are really compatible before you move any further in this relationship. During this process, I think that it’s very important for you to date other women to see what else is out there. After all, you have more than just you to think about.

Parenting styles that differ CAN be a deal breaker when divorced moms date divorced dads. Yes, dating IS more complicated for divorced parents because it’s not just the two of them. It’s the two of them, their kids, their kids’ other parents, other grandparents, etc. When singles date there are certain areas that are important in order to make a relationship work — like religion, socio-economic background and present, sexuality, work ethic, energy levels, etc. If the discrepancy between two singles dating in any of these areas is too great, the relationship may very well not work. When divorced parents date, parenting styles and issues surrounding the children DO count as potential areas of compatibility or deal breakers.

A discrepancy in how a divorced mom parents and disciplines her children can negatively affect her relationship with the divorced dad she is dating if they marry, and it will definitely affect any blended family dynamics, negatively.

My advice is that if you decide to continue to date this woman — [b]proceed with great caution[/b]. I personally think it’s got t-r-o-u-b-l-e written all over it.

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