[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like the two of you were together for two and half years, but that she is married to someone else, and has been during that time. Did I get that right? And now, she’s broken up with you, although I’m not sure why…. and you’re devastated.

I’m so sorry for your pain. It sounds like you’re waiting for her to come back or to talk to you, and that wait, itself, is almost like a separate painful experience. I think that if you can find a way to stop waiting, and to accept the break up, and start nurturing yourself by getting out there and enjoying friends and family, volunteering, walking in nature, going to the movies, going to the gym — you’ll feel better.

For future, when you get involved with someone who is committed to another man, you’re not giving yourself great odds of her being yours and only yours. Even is she told you that she was yours — you have to realize she’s taken vows saying the same thing, to her husband. 😕 I’m very sure you love her very much, but just because you love someone, and even just because she may love you, doesn’t mean you should be together. Even soul mates aren’t always mean to be together.

Again, I’m so sorry for your pain, and I hope you’ll use the opportunity that this break up has provided, to make a change in your life and really take good care of yourself! Let me know if you have any other questions.