[Flower14]

Thanks for the advice. He just wanted me to move in so we could be happy without my family issues. N we could get out of debt faster. And see how compatible we are before getting married. I do want to move in. But I know what it’s going to cause with my family. He says I shouldn’t worry because they don’t love me and it will work out. N I don’t need my aunt or my cousin because they threatened to to hit me. N my dad. If he really loved us he wouldn’t leave. But he’s so embarrassed by my actions. It’s not that I don’t want to move in. It’s just I don’t want to cause more family problems. They’re going to turn on each other. It will get ugly with them. And I don’t want things to get uglier with them. He just says I don’t sacrifice and I’m allowing them control our relationship because all I’ve focused on was what they want. He says I don’t love him. Because I never sacrificed anything I always cared more about my family problems. N their feelings. He says if I really loved him. I would’ve sacrificed moving in. Even if things got ugly.i can’t move out. I’m still in school and waiting to graduate. N that’s when we were supposed to move in. He’s been here for me so much. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have graduated. He’s done so much for me and I haven’t sacrificed anything He says I don’t give n f about him. And it’s true. I haven’t sacrificed anything. I’ve always put my family first. I’ve been very selfish. I wasn’t there for him. I was horrible I never fought for the relationship. I’m too much of a coward. To stand up. To my family. He says I won’t fight I’ll allow anything to happen with my family. Because I’m too scared of them. N I don’t fight for the relationship. He’s done so much and I’ve been a bad girlfriend. I’ve never listened. I’ve never communicated. But I am scared about messing up the family more if I move in. They feel I’m choosing a man over my family. I’m just so emotionally craxy. I love him. I’ve been a bad girlfriend. I’ve been horrible. I just idk should I sacrifice messing up the family? To move in with the man I love . He’s really the best boyfriend I’ve had a great guy. Or should I mess up my relationship have him leave me. I haven’t shown I care I’ve been selfish disrespectful. He’s told me he feels unloved n unwanted for the longest time. He just says I’m willing to loose the relationship because I won’t stand up to anyone. I’m so broken. And so all over the place. I really don’t want to loose him. He says no matter when I move in. With him or someone else. My family will turn on each other. N go crazy. He says I’m thinking of a solution. But there’s no solution. With my family. I know I’ve disrespected the house. And I lied to the family. I know I’ve done a lot of bad things in this house that’s not mine. My family says I’m selfish for leaving the house. Because my dad will leave to our country. N my mom will suffer. N it will cause a lot of drama. They say I don’t love them if I do it. But if I don’t move in with Gabriel my boyfriend it shows I don’t love him. N yes I care about my family and I love Gabriel. N j know I haven’t sacrificed anything. But it sucks being in the middle. I don’t want my relationship to end. But I know he’s fed up with my actions. N my family. He’s ready to leave. He says things are gonna get worse no matter what. I’m a lost cause. I don’t want to loose my family or him. But with how things are idk. I love him I do. I’m so desperate to find a solution or fix things. Or someway to make someone happy. And I can’t move in with a friend. Because I don’t have any to move in. And he’s going to say oh it’s because you don’t want to live with me in my studio. It’s because you don’t love me. N I do want to move in with him. But I’m just scared n worried about what’s going to happen with my family. I know that me moving in with my boyfriend. Will cause disaster. N I’ll loose some of my family. He says disaster needs to happen so they can realize their mistakes. I haven’t sacrificed anything. It’s the perfect moment to sacrifice. But idk should I let him go he’s so awesome. He’s been great to me. It’s like I’m torn with what my family says and with what he says. I guess I’m just weak. I really need all the advice I can get. N if I stay here I won’t be able to see him really. N I can’t move out on my own. I have so many loans to pay off n I have to work and New York is expensive. I just I’m so lost. Idk how to go about things. I need more advice please and thank you