Thank you for the details — I have a much better picture about what’s going on, now. The big thing here is not your paralysis or your chances of having biological children — it’s the age and the maturity level of anyone you’re going to date. It’s great you’re so open and frank about what’s going on because it’s going to save you a lot of time and heartache in the long run, but you will have to find someone who is compatible with you, and that will take more effort in the short run. Some people think they can have biological children, and it’s only several years into marriage that they find out what, exactly, their odds of having biological children are — and they’re devastated. You already know your odds, and that if you do want kids, you may have to consider options like fertility intervention and adoptions — and frankly, these are pretty normal situations today. However…. at your age, many women won’t have considered these facts of life quite yet. That’s why you need to find someone mature enough to be able to do so and to be okay with it.
All that said, if a woman, like the one you’re with now, isn’t able to handle this — don’t judge her. Instead, accept this and move on. I know it’s difficult, and it may cause you to bring this topic up sooner than later in future dating because you don’t want to waste your time (or hers) getting involved with someone for whom this is a deal breaker — but that’s good and productive if it works for you.
What’s going on now is that the two of you don’t want to face the reality that this situation isn’t going to work for her, and while you do have fond feelings for each other, they’re not enough for a future together.
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AskApril Masini