[AskApril Masini]

Your relationship with this guy is a fantasy — it is not reality. You are going to ruin your marriage and likely your life if you continue down the path you are on.

I strongly encourage you to:
— delete all nude photos, both of him and yourself,
— close your facebook account,
— stop ALL contact with him immediately.

1.First of all, regarding the “other” guy, don’t start imagining things like: “Oh! He’s the guy I should have married. He’s my soulmate. We have so many things in common.” More likely than not, it’s simply not true. Online relationships frequently (and quickly) morph into romances because it’s so easy to start believing you have so many things in common with one another and that you’re so compatible. Before you know it you start living in a fantasy world and you imagine that the grass is greener in his yard. It’s an illusion.

2. Second of all, you’re married and you’ve committed (or you are committing) emotional infidelity.

3. Thirdly, and this is what I’m arriving at, these are all signs (mainly you turning towards another guy) that you are not happy and that you’re avoiding the real problem, YOU. Instead of turning towards a guy that’s been out of your life for many years, you should probably develop a deeper relationship with those that really love you. Though your text focuses on the “other” guy, I have the feeling that real issue is your relationship with your husband and your relationship with yourself. Seek help and deal with the real issues. Start off by taking a few natural remedies for depression (non-addictive and less expensive), exercise regularly and try to find pleasure in small things.

Refocus your attention on your husband and your real life. Do this NOW or your husband WILL find out and your marriage as you know it will change forever… if not end. In the long run cheaters never win. And let there be no mistake about it, what you are doing is cheating.

Get out and get involved with an activity that you like in your community. Get a part-time job. Volunteer. Do something nice for someone else (you can start with your husband). There are any number of things you can do to meet people and make new friends.

Stop making excuses and do something positive with your life. An adulterous affair is not the answer to being lonely.