[AskApril Masini]

First off, you cannot — I repeat, cannot — return to an abusive relationship. Putting aside the lies, the suspicions, the lack of trust and everything else, that one issue — abuse (mental and physical abuse), is, in and of itself, a deal breaker. Period.

Frankly, even if there wasn’t abuse… I would still suggest you “move on”. You and/or he may have regrets, but that’s not enough to resolve the previous problems and conflicts… and yours are very, very serious ones.

While he may be telling you what you want to hear on the one hand, while implying that you’ve earned another chance with him by “showing him how much you loved him these past few months” (Am I supposed to think lucky you ❓ )– what has HE actually done to demonstrate that he loves you … or has even changed for that matter? Nothing.

Actions, actions, actions. They are all that matter.

Your new conversations may remind you of the good times and your first thoughts may be “Maybe he has changed” and “This is why I fell in love with him in the first place.” But something inside you is telling you that you cannot trust him… DON’T! Listen to your instincts and stop forgetting all about the bad times.

The only way to make a relationship with your ex truly work is have dealt with the underlying issues that caused the break up in the first place. Those issues have to be resolved or the past will simply repeat itself.