[AskApril Masini]

I’m happy to help you, but next time, start a new post instead of piggybacking onto someone else’s post. It’s easier for others to chime in and help you that way!

As for your question, I’m not sure why you asked forgiveness from a guy you met online, who never called you. Neither one of of you did anything wrong. Sometimes guys don’t call. It’s not a crime. Especially for one you really didn’t know very well. In fact, it seems like you’re creating drama from nothing. So, relax — there is no relationship to “get through.” You didn’t really have a relationship — he’s just someone you met online but never got together with in real life.

When it comes to dating, meeting online can be terrific. But it’s a good idea not to put all your eggs in one basket until you’ve invested some real “face time” together. It’s okay to keep your dating profile up online if you’re not dating anyone in person, and it’s okay to talk to other people online if you’re not dating anyone in person. In fact, you should expect that behavior from men, and they should from you, too. Who wants to waste their time with someone who may not be right for them? Not you!

Although he may have told you he likes you while you were both online, and he said he made plans to visit you after you put your photos online, so he could see what you looked like before he agreed to meet you face to face, that’s just the beginning of a [i]possible[/i] relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean he likes you enough to see you or date you, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have a real life relationship or that once he sees your photos he’s still going to want to meet you at all. Don’t take this personally. It’s pretty normal behavior for most people. Hopefully you’ll understand this so you don’t get hurt again if you meet a man online who says he likes you, but doesn’t call or ask you on a date. People say lots of things, but it’s much easier to judge them by their actions.

The other thing to remember about meeting people online, or meeting people that your friends and family and co-workers don’t know, is that just because they say something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because he says he likes you, what he means is that he likes you [i]so far[/i]. It doesn’t mean he’d rush to your side if you were in a car accident or that he’s going to make you his Valentine’s date. And vice versa — same for you with him. Don’t pretend a relationship is further along than it is just because you want it to be. Getting to know someone can save you a lot of time. For instance, this guy isn’t Mr. Right for you, and luckily, you didn’t waste six months on him.

Playing the numbers game in dating is a very good idea. You should get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, so you can understand more about dating, and getting what you want, and meeting who you want to meet. You can click on the Dating Advice Books link at the top of the page, and scroll down to Think & Date Like A Man and order it there for only $15.95. Among other things it will help you understand that in dating, it’s important to keep putting yourself up to bat, and being willing to strike out because you know that one of these times at the plate, you’re going to hit a home run and meet Mr. Right. This guy didn’t work out. Okay. Next!

Rejection can be a gift because it saves you time. If a man isn’t interested in you enough to call you, then why would you waste your time with him? You should be the prize in the relationship that he’s wanting to chase down and win. If you throw yourself at him by giving him your phone number before he asks for it, tell him to call you, then get upset when he doesn’t — and ask forgiveness from him for getting upset — you’ve lost your “prize” status, and there’s nothing for him to chase, and certainly no romantic relationship at hand. So accept the rejection for the gift of clarity that it is, and move on to find someone who wants you because he thinks you’re incredible.

Get back out there, with what you’ve learned, and be the woman who gets the guy. (My book will help you with this like a good friend who gives you solid advice.)