AskApril MasiniWell, the good news is you didn’t give him the letter. The bad news is that you called him and while I don’t know exactly what you said, I’m assuming that you basically spilled your guts (so to speak). The good news is you recognize that was not a good move and you won’t do it again. The bad news is you’ve also told him all about the bad luck you’ve had… I’m assuming you meant with men and dating? This too, I’m afraid was a mistake… If you’ve read my columns or my books, you know that everyone (men and women alike) want to date a prize. Meaning, if they think no one else wants you – why should they? Your commiserating with him about your “bad luck” falls under TMI (too much information) – if you want to date the guy. If you’re just interested in being friends with him — it’s fine.
What do you do now? You pull way, way back — I mean completely. The good news is, (yes, there is more good news) it’s only been 2-3 days since you left the message and no immediate reaction doesn’t mean there’s zero hope… What it does mean is that you’re in a weakened position and you’ve got to 100% let him do ALL the pursuing from this point on. If he is interested in you, he will come after you and he will ask you out. If he doesn’t, he’s not the one for you and his non-response is actually a gift — it lets you get on with your life.
Here are a couple of columns that are worthwhile reading (they’re free):
As for how to get over the hurt? Well, I’d be lying if I said there was a quick fix. There isn’t. However, the best thing you could do for yourself, your state of mind, and your future is to get out of the house, get involved with anything/everything that is of interest to you, and put yourself in a position to meet someone new. I would also highly recommend you try online dating.
Finally, get my book Think & Date Like A Man — and read it.
