[AskApril Masini]

Your first lover is very special to you, but the reality is that the two of you are no longer a couple, and she’s engaged to another man. It’s very normal to be upset and mourn the loss of the relationship. But if you stay friends with her (and this isn’t a real friendship because you’re not happy for her marriage and she’s not looking out for your best interests knowing how you feel about her), you’ll never get to mourn the loss of the relationship. You’re going to keep it alive in this awful, bastardized form that it was never meant to be.

The best thing you can do for you and for her is to cut off contact and move on with your life. You deserve a woman who not only loves you, but cares about your best interests. This ex-girlfriend doesn’t care about your best interest. If she did, she’d know that keeping you around is hurting you, hurting her fiance and is ultimately a power play on her part to make her feel important. You also know deep down that if you really care about her, you’ll let her go and pursue her marriage.

You’re going to find Ms. Right — I promise you — but not if you don’t let go of this relationship that is rotting past it’s expiration date.

I know you’re hurt, but if you follow my advice here, you’ll begin to feel better with time. I promise. 😉

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].