[AskApril Masini]

You should pursue the relationship with the man who visits you in person, takes you out on dates, and is available to you in the present, and for a real future, not just one in cyberspace.

The relationship with your ex-boyfriend whom you’ve never met in person, is emotional, but it’s not physical. He’s not available to take you for a walk, to the movies, or to hold your hand and kiss you. You need to be with someone who’s available to you.

The internet is a great tool for meeting people and exploring relationships, but if your one and only boyfriend is only someone you see on the internet and never in real life, that’s not healthy.

Your ex-boyfriend was right when he broke up with you and told you to get a real boyfriend. I suspect that the way he “got wind” as you call it, of your new boyfriend is because you told him about the new relationship. Since he doesn’t live in your country, there’s no other way he could have found out about it. You were subconsciously punishing him for breaking up with you. And it worked. You hurt him the same way that he hurt you. Now, stop that pattern. If you don’t he’s going to get you to break up with your new boyfriend, then he’s going to hurt you by dating someone and so on and so on.

Don’t jeopardize this new relationship with old baggage that doesn’t have to be. Enjoy your new relationship and let go of your past today.