[April Masini, your AskApril]

It really sounds like the problem isn’t her — it’s [i]your[/i] relationship. It’s very hard to be in a relationship with someone who lives across the country and with whom you don’t have regular contact. While you’ve been with him for 11 years, that’s not really a realistic number because during that time, somehow, you’ve managed to have not one, but two children with someone else, so your commitment to him isn’t that strong, and that’s what is upsetting you. Because the two of you are not together, it’s normal for him to want to date other women.

I think you need to figure out what you want in your life, and if it’s a committed, monogamous relationship, you need to understand that being in the same neighborhood or even city, is the best way to foster a lasting commitment. If you can’t have that with this guy, then it’s time to move on — without blaming his teenager sweetheart.

I’m sorry that isn’t what you want to hear, but I think that if you can take it in, it will help you find the relationship you’re looking for.

Let me know how it goes. And follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂