[prariebyu]

From what you have written it sounds to me like she is depressed and maybe doesn’t believe that she is ready to be a productive partner for you at this time. Perhaps she is feeling emotionally inadequate due to her depression and wants to give you an opportunity to experience life while she goes through this period of depression. Or, perhaps, she is just not sure about committing to marriage at this time.

It’s hard when the one you love is not feeling 100%. I empathize with your feeling that you want her to be happy and are willing to do everything you can to support her. But she seems to need some time. The two of you set a time limit on your break. Have you discussed the relationship and where things are going since the previously agreed date to end the break? Perhaps it is time to talk about it and ask her what she needs and what she would like to have happen before the two of you got your relationship back on track. She is obviously still interested in you and in having some kind of relationship with you. I think the two of you should have a heart to heart talk. It may do wonders if not illuminate and clear away some of the mystery.

If she is still ambivalent, then maybe you should try to withdraw from her a bit and see if that doesn’t spur the urge in her to recommit to you and the relationship. Just back off and give her some space and both of you some time. Time apart may be the best thing. If after some time spent completely seperate from one another you each feel the desire to continue a more committed path together then that’s what you will have. If not, then it’s time to move on in a different direction anyway.

I have recently gone through a short term break. My partner is also depressed about her some of her personal issues and future. The past 2 and 1/2 months have been hard. I had been trying to bend over backwards to express my love for her. I came to feel that I was doing 80% of the work in the relationship. A couple of days ago I pressed the issue feeling that I had nothing more to offer that might inspire or encourage her stay in relationship. I guess this did the trick because her ambivalence has disappeared and she now seems to be completed committed to our relationship and is also making strong efforts to commit to her personal path as well.

I don’t know if any of these will help, but I have found the following books to be very insighful, inspirational and helpful.

“Mastery of Love” Don Miguel Ruiz
“A Return to Love” Marianne Williamson
“A New Earth” Ekhardt Tolle

Good Luck