Um… just a thought… Could you talk to a therapist?? Maybe go together, or encourage her to seek one out herself? I’m not talking the “I’m going to be committed because I’m insane” kind of therapy…just someone else to talk to, to gain perspective, etc. If she’s religious (or you are), then maybe you could suggest her (your) preacher, pastor, priest, rabbi, etc. It may also be that she’s going through clinical/subclinical depression (caused by any number of things, including physiological problems). At any rate, if she feels that sad/depressed, sitting around in one’s room rarely does any good. I know that’s my shutdown mechanism, too…and if I continue with that, I generally end up wallowing in that self-pity, self-questioning, etc. for awhile until something (usually someone else) snaps me out of it. To combat this, I have to make sure that I really don’t start that retreat in the first place. If she’s already in that mode, it may be best for her to talk to someone outside of the situation.
