[AskApril Masini]

Forget your ex-boyfriend. He has too much baggage for you, and you’re not compatible. Two children and an ex-girlfriend who is their mother is a lot for anyone, but when the guy is conflicted about being a father, he’s got bigger problems than you need to handle. His decision to leave his ex-girlfriend when she was pregnant, and was the mother to another of his children was immature. The decision to not want to see his newborn son, showed very bad judgment. His decision to lie to you about seeing his baby (and his ex-girlfriend who is his childrens’ mother) behind your back, was bizarre. His decision to leave you one night and just not come back was disgraceful and the final straw (and if you can’t see that, re-read this sentence!).

He’s in over his head, and he needs to focus on raising his two children either with his ex-girlfriend as a couple, or as a separated co-parent with his ex-girlfriend. Someone else may be able to do this with some grace, but from what you’ve described, your ex-boyfriend doesn’t have that grace. He has his hands full. There’s not going to be a lot of room for you.

Even if he thinks things are settled enough for him now to come back to you, he’s deluding himself if he doesn’t think there are going to be big bumps in the road ahead — just as there are when any two parents split up and have children between them.

Hooray for you that you’ve found someone else. Now focus on the good man you have, and don’t get distracted from the life you’ve built after he left you, with what he wants. He had you and blew it. Game over. He showed his true colors and guess what — you deserve better. A lot better 🙂

Value yourself and you will be valued. 😀

I hope that helps. You’ve been through a bad relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Make this new one a great one! 🙂