[Anonymous]

Hello. I am in need of some advice. I have been in a relationship with this man for a little over 10 years now. He is married. During 2009, our relationship was going through a little metamorphasis. We were both very busy and not spending much time together. Jealousy was getting in the way of our relatsionship and things between us were not great. I was invited with another male friend to go to a casino for the evening. To do some gambling and go to a reception. I accepted his offer knowing and lied to my boyfriend. This male friend was offered a comped room where I changed my clothes and such. There was no intention to stay over night. We gambled and went to the party and I left. I got a migraine while in the casino from the smoke and was not able to drive myself home so the male friend drove me home.

My boyfriend called the hotel and found that there was only one room and has now accused me of sleeping with this other guy. I realize that it was very poor judgement decision on my part and I know how this looks to my boyfriend. I am not angry at all by his feelings that he has except for one thing. My boyfriend is now requesting that I take a polygraph in order for him to assure that he can move forward with our relationship and be together completely. He believes that the polygraph will bring out whether I was sexual with the male friend. I have thought very hard about it and I am really unsure about this-not because I am guilty of anything, but it seems so unorthodoxed when it comes to feeling the wounds. Plus, my thoughts are that if I do this, it don’t believe that it will bring him closer to making the full commitment. I still feel that I will still be waiting for him.

I am looking for some advice. Do you believe that I should take the polygraph? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Ask April Masini]

Your married boyfriend of ten years wants you to take a polygraph test to prove your fidelity to him?? 😯

I was ready to tell you to run like the wind until I read your sentence in the end of your post that after ten years of dating this married guy, you’re still waiting for a full commitment from him. 😯 😯 😯

Please go drink a big pot of coffee! You need to wake up, NOW!! 🙄

I wish you felt that you deserved a boyfriend who respects and wants to give his whole self to you, rather than one who treats you like a third rate mistress who just stole from the till and needs to be polygraphed because he doesn’t trust you. If he’s allowed to sleep with his wife, surely you are allowed to sleep with other men you’re dating. If you can’t see that, then you will never understand that he’s not going to leave his wife. Ever.

This guy does not deserve the time of day from you. Pity his wife. And quit being a victim.

Move on now — find Mr. Right, not Mr. Polygraph. Yikes. 😕

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