[bayoubengal]

First I feel terrible about this. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 9 months. We have never had any problems until this.

I was trying to see what type of jewelry she had and came across a box with cards in it. One of the cards was an “Anniversary” card. When I opened the card it was from a female friend of my girlfriends, that she still sees and is scheduled to go on a trip with in April. The card mentioned things like “the taste of your lips” etc. I was floored. I can’t stop thinking about it, and brought it up to her yesterday.

She was really upset that I looked through her box, and she has every right to be, but I was doing it to get an idea for her birthday present. When I asked her about it, she says that there was never anything there, and that the girl helped her after her divorce with her husband. She told me I am looking to much into it, but my head can’t understand this. Should I ask her about it again? I don’t know what to do.

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like your girlfriend had a lesbian relationship. You stumbled across the evidence innocently enough, and now you need to know if she is really going to be satisfied by a man in the long term, or if she is truly interested in women, too.

You need to talk to her more about this. I know it’s difficult for her because she’s embarrassed that she kept this secret from you and you found out about it without her disclosing the information herself, and she may also be embarrassed about the nature of her sexuality as well as confused about it. Acknowledge the difficulty, but don’t allow yourself to continue in the relationship without more information from her.

You want to make sure the relationship is over and whether or not she’s got bi-sexual or lesbian interests that you will not be able to satisfy.

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