[Anonymous]

Hi April, I’m a 28 single mom and never been in a relationship since i broke up with my ex husband. After 2 years i finally met a nice guy well i just on my 5th date but i really feel we are connected and he seems to be interested in me even though we have not kiss yet just hand touching, the problem is this April, i am kind of tourist here in the country and i must leave this country in a month, pretty short term to get to know a person really well but still i really like him and i have no courage to tell him that he’s wasting his time with me, he even doesn’t know that i am leaving and everytime i find the courage to tell him my situation i don’t do it because i don’t want him to think that i want some kind of benefith from him or worst to make him stop wanting to dating me because i am not going to stay longer in the country, he has family here, i mean kids so i am pretty sure he’s not that kind of guys who will fly to be with her woman. We have not even kissed yet April, should i talk to him before it?? Actually tomorrow he invited me to his house to have dinner and i don’t know if it’s gonna be a right momento or place to tell him that i am leaving, i know i must have been finished with this before but i though it will never happened (being into someone again) i know i am not doing the right think cause i’m not telling the true but since he didn’t asked me too much things i decided to answer just what he asked and now i am in a big problem..wish he won’t feel cheated in a some way..need your help..

[Ask April Masini]

Definitely tell him the truth the very next time you talk — whether it’s on the phone or in person. It’s wrong for you to withhold information like this, and you’re basically playing him, regardless of how you see it. If you don’t have the wherewithal to tell him the truth, then you’re not ready to date anyone.

Your excuse of not wanting him to think certain things is a lame excuse for your not wanting to be alone. It’s not about him — it’s about YOUR feelings, no matter how you try to spin it to yourself.

So tell him the truth now. If he still wants to date you, take it from there. If he doesn’t, you’ll live.

[Anonymous]

Thank you April i’m going to take advantage of your words and try to think about it. It is not that i don’t want to be alone since i have been alone since i’m separated rejecting all kind of invitations, it is just that i met this special guy, unluckily in a bad time, bad place but although he doesn’t deserve what i am doing. You are right April, the first thing i should do right know is tell him that i’m leaving, after all is going to make me feel better and is going to let him think clearly about his life..makes me feel sad but it is the way it have to be. I’ll survive 😉 Thanks April.

[Ask April Masini]

It’s not just that you’re playing him — you’re not treating [i]yourself[/i] as someone with character and respect. I know it feels like you’re hurting him, but ANY bad behavior hurts not just the other person, but the person doing that bad behavior. If you start withholding the truth or outright lying, the real victim in the long run is you.

So do the right thing by him, but more importantly, YOU start acting with the kind of character you’d expect from a stellar person. Your whole life will pick itself up by the bootstraps when you do.

And don’t forget that by telling him the truth there is a chance he may want to have a long distance relationship or a short lived one with you in spite of your leaving sooner rather than later — but unless you give him the opportunity to make those choices by TELLING THE TRUTH, you’ll never know.

So do it today!
😀

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