[Anonymous]

Dear April,
I am writing in hopes that you can give me some advice about an amazing man which I am so in love with. We were high school sweethearts who went our separate ways after I had moved away from our home town. Shortly after going our separate ways, he enlisted in the Navy. I can honestly say that I never thought for a moment that I would have ever fallen in with him all over again. We reconnected through facebook and since then, we have chatted, messaged and even have talked on the phone numerous times. He has come home a few times before we reconnected, but I was married at the time and never pursued to reconnect. I honestly never cared to.
After reconnecting, he came home for a visit, and we ended up going on a couple dates. After the first date, I never thought I would ever want to go on a date again, but I did, and after the second date I found myself thinking about him in more than a ‘just friends’ standpoint. He was just as funny as ever, and he had definitely matured. He had a charm that I couldn’t resist. Before he had come home to visit I learned that he was leaving for deployment after his vacation. He was going to be gone for 7 months, so I never imagined to have developed feelings for this man. I didn’t want to. It was the last thing I wanted. Although after the second date I knew I was in a world of trouble. During his deployment we would message each other, and he was able to call once. I found myself thinking about him more and more and soon enough he was all that I thought about. I was counting down the days, and then finally the day came when I would see him again.

I picked him up from the airport, and I can’t even describe the feelings that I had after seeing him step foot off the airplane. I was over joyed. He was only going to be in town for 10 days, so I knew it was going to fly by. The first few days flew by, but in those days we would talk and spend time together. I have spent the night with him at the hotel a few times. After spending so much time with him, I have fallen in love with him. Our time together is almost up, I find myself wondering what is going to happen after he goes back home. He leaves in a couple days, and I am left feeling like I want so much more. I broke down the other night to him, and I asked him what he wanted, and he turned it around on me asking what I wanted. I told him I didn’t know, but I knew damn well that I wanted to be with him, and that I would be willing to do whatever it took to be with him. Whether it be to try the long distance thing, or to follow him back to his home. I knew the second choice was not an option. That goes without saying. He told me he wants to be logical, and I totally understand that. I know for a fact that my feelings are getting in the way, and I am being selfish, but I can’t help it. I find myself wondering why I let myself get in this predicament. He told me he just wants to enjoy these last few days without worrying about saying good bye, because it just makes him upset. I totally understand that but I can’t help but think about the inevitable, and what is bound to happen after he leaves. He says he doesn’t know, and that’s all he can tell me. I want so much for things to work out between us. He makes me so happy, and he told me that I make him happy, and that makes it gut wrenching. I think I made the mistake of telling him that I had fallen in love with him. The look on face was priceless. He just smiled at me and then jokingly told me I was nuts and buried his head into my chest. I knew deep down that he wasn’t going to reply with the same statement, but I was hoping that he would. I’m so confused, and every time I talk about it with a friend, or anyone, I break down and start crying. Its just so emotionally draining. I want to be with him in everyway possible, but is it possible to have a long distance relationship, and make it work? I’ve never experienced anything like this before. He makes me feel so good, and I love the way he makes me smile, and the way he holds me and the way he touches me. I don’t want to let that go. Can you please give me some insight on this situation.

[Ask April Masini]

You’ve been using your heart a lot. Now, it’s time to use your brain. This will take some of the burden off the work your heart has been doing that’s leaving you emotionally drained. 😉

It’s clear you really love this guy, and it’s clear he’s not as into having a monogamous, traditional relationship as you are. That means you have to treat this relationship more like a business so you make SMART investments and SMART risks.

Download Think & Date Like A Man at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. Then read it. This is a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and KEEP Mr. Right. There are TOOLS in here in addition to advice that you can use to make him want you. For instance — never tell him you love him first. Guys want to be the ones who run the relationship, and when you put your emotional needs first, if he’s not ready to be in love with you, you’ve put him in a terrible position to disappoint you. No man wants to disappoint his woman — so don’t back him into a corner just because you need to say the three words that are so important in a relationship.

This book is going to help you — and you CAN have a long distance relationship, but communication is extra important in such a case, so you need to be clear on what your part is in winning him over. Read the book and let me know what you think and how things go.

And join me on Facebook — I’d love to have you there at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

Hi April,
We said our goodbyes Monday morning, and it was incredibly difficult for me to let him go. I have to be honest and say that I cried for the majority of the day, and now am feeling an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I guess I just want reassurance that this pain I am having will eventually go away!

We never did discuss the possibility of having a long distance relationship, I guess for me leaving things the way they were (in limbo) was a lot better than getting my heart broken. And that is something that I don’t think I could have dealt with. But that also leaves me feeling very frustrated and confused as well.

They say actions speak louder than words, and I did forget to mention a few things to you. I’m not exactly sure if they mean anything, but it surely is mind numbing. While he was on deployment, his ship made a stop in Portugal and he bought me this beautiful wooden trinket box with butterflies on it. He told me that it ‘spoke to him’. I was totally taken aback by this for I didn’t really ask for anything. Right before we said our goodbyes, he gave me a T-shirt of his that smelled just like him. I did, on a few occasions, comment that he smelled really good and that I was going to steal his cologne. So, he ended up giving me his cologne too. I was utterly surprised by that. Although I really really want to wear the shirt he gave me, I just can’t bring myself to wear it to bed. It makes me miss him too much.

So, my question is, (I’m trying my hardest not to be ignorant about men here), why would he (or any man for that matter) go out of his (their) way to buy me something from a foreign country, and give me his personal belongings? With the possibility of knowing that doing so makes a woman immensely happy and also possibly giving her false hope of a relationship? I’m racking my brain, trying to figure his actions. Is this how guys that seem to be really into you act, without wanting a monogamous, traditional relationship like you stated before? Thanks for your help!!

[Ask April Masini]

You’re welcome! 😀

Let me know when you’ve bought and read Think & Date Like A Man! Here’s the link — it’s only $15.95, and it helps fund this FREE advice I’m giving you. 😉 Here’s the link for the automatic download: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

I know you’re going get a lot of help by reading this book — and now that he’s deployed you have some free time to do so. You’ll get a much better handle on what’s right for you by reading this book, and as a result, you won’t feel so confused and drained.

I hope that helps.

Please join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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