[Shershanna]

Hi there , I been dating this guy for 3 years who is 43 years old living with his parents , He free lance photographer , sleeps in the day and wakes at night , I paid for dates every time , only on special occasions like bday Christmas or vday he give me something, other than that he always cried broke , he and I had a argument and he told me I have no purpose to live in this world , I should be runned over by a car and my brain should be spilled all over I was shocked I couldn’t believe what I was hearing it breaks my heart and I feel like a failure for even trusting this guy in my life plz help me what to do , I called him after and he acts like always like I am the one with the fault meanwhile he refuse to see how hurt I am

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

I know you feel like a failure, and I’m sorry for that. You’re not a failure. However… when you date a guy who’s 43 and lives with his mom and dad, and expect him to put you first, you’re engaging in some failing dating practices. 😕 A guy who chooses to live at his parents’ house with them, instead of on his own, in middle age, isn’t going to put you first. He’s going to put himself first because that’s what he’s always done. He doesn’t understand sacrifice or generosity, and it’s wrong for you to think he’s suddenly going to turn around be the kind of boyfriend who “gets it”.

My advice is to stop trying to change him — and instead, change your own behavior. 😉 Date men who are ready to be the kind of boyfriend and partner you want, not those who are still living at their parents’ homes.

I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any more questions.

[Member]

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