You picked a winner! And I mean that sarcastically. Your boyfriend/baby daddy is living with you, but won’t divorce his wife? And he’s controlling, insecure and critical? Yuck. The reason he’s acting so crabby is that he realizes that you don’t owe him anything — except visitation with your child together, and possibly some joint custody. He knows you’re going to wake up and smell the coffee any minute now, and want out, and he’s upset about it, so he’s acting out on you. Well, he’s about to get what he’s feared all along.
Here’s what you need to do. Go to your local court and file for child support and custody of your baby. Do this immediately.
Next, you need to break up with him, and he needs to move out. Not you — him. If you can do all this civilly and with good manners, that’s very important. He’s your child’s father, and you two will be connected for the next 18 years while your child is a minor. But as long as he’s married to someone else, and you’re doubtful about the relationship, you’d be wise to make things clear.
Next, focus on being a good mother and that means taking care of yourself as well as your child. Start seeing your friends and family for social and emotional support. Exercise, eat well, get sleep, and go to the park with your baby.
After you get your ducks in a row, as I’ve described above, then, and only then, can I start advising you on dating as a single mom. You may find at that time that you want to try and make things work with your baby’s daddy if he’s divorced and available at that time. If he’s not, you’re free to explore the dating world and see if Mr. Right is out there for you. But all in due time.
Get your act together for now, and you’ll be in good shape after that.
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