………..

[Evie]

Wow, and I thought I had problems with breast issues.

I’m pretty much the same except that my breast issues are the opposite of yours. I’m close to my 30’s and I’m still as flat as a board, like the body of a 12 year old and I feel the same way in that men will reject me. But a relationship is more than just your body. If the man can’t accept you for who you are and accept the way your body is, then he’s not worth your time.

With my ex-boyfriend, I felt the same way at first when we first got intimate, but he didn’t care. It was the personality that mattered to him, not my flat chest. Now that I’m out of a relationship and is single, I feel what you feel about not being able to attract men. I’d like bigger breasts but I’m not about to go under the knife and get breast implants just so it will please the man. You are lucky that you have breasts. I wish I do. At least small ones.

[April Masini]

Believe it or not everyone has body image issues with some part of their body, whether it’s their nose, buttocks, breasts, tummy, height — you name it. An Entourage television episode on HBO highlighted one characters obsession with having calf implants because he thought his [i]calves[/i] were making him less attractive!

Some beautiful women who have small breasts and make the most of them are: Kate Hudson, Debra Messing, Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Keira Knightly, Katie Holmes Cruise, Claire Danes, Calista Flockhart — and more!

If you want to have breast augmentation, it’s certainly available. But if you don’t, my advice is to highlight the parts of your body that you do like. For instance, if you have fabulous eyes and eyelashes, play them up! If you have great legs, pull out the short dresses! If you have a beautiful butt, show that off. The truth is that men are going to brag to their buddies about your assets, not your deficits — if they even notice them. Guys say, “My girls has such a great….(you fill in the blank).” Or they’re going to fantasize about your good parts.

The reality is that a man isn’t going to be in a relationship with you because of a body part, or lack of one. He’s going to be in a relationship with you because you make him feel good about himself. Breasts absolutely attract men, but if you don’t have them, then use what you do have.

[optimistvik]

I agree with ask april
Concentrate on your looks which are really very good . I know breasts always attract men but you can attract him by so many other things also.

[Evie]

What happened to the original post??? I was replying to that person who thought breast was important in attracting men.

Used to feel that way but its not worth my time to if a guy is only going for the breasts so I stop worrying about breast and attracting men. I feel that men should be acceptable of a person’s natural beauty. I totally agree with what April said. Make most of what you’ve got!

To the person who made the original post – its what’s on the inside that counts, not the outside. Stop worrying about your breasts! 🙂

[Trini]

im sorry, somehow it got deleted, here is my original post ladies :
so, my name is trini, and im sixteen.
i’ve been doing a lot of dating,(over the past year) and everytime i go out with a guy (maybe 3-4 times) The question pops up, its either “so, why did you and your last guys break up?” or if i tell them i’ve never been in a relationship they ask the dreaded question “so, why [i]haven’t[/i] you ever been in a relationship?”.
And of course i respond with a quick “no reason in particular, i just have not found a man that lives up to my standards”, and of course they nod, and then i have to stop dating them. Why? Well, because i want to have sex with them, but cant. ill explain.
the reason why i dont want to commit to a relationship is because i know its going to lead to sex(because i want it to, not because anyone’s pushing me), and…(Here it comes, drum roll please!) i have some body issues.
but not how you would think, i love my body, i have recently lost about 100lbs and have been feeling great about my body, my stomach is nice and flat, my thighs are nice and smoothe, and flab…what flab? I HAVE NONE. but. there is one part of my body that i hate, my uh, breasts. yes, i have been losing and gaing weight all of my life, and now theya re just well, not perky at all. (believe me, if they at least stood up a little i would not be writing to you, i’d be happy with them.) And thats what scares me, being seen naked, im scared that guys will see my breasts and run the other way, i have no problem attracting men, im quite good at it . But to be honest, i know its kind of petty, thats the reason why i refuse to commit to a man. Its almost like im saving HIS time, and wasting mine. I’ve gone down the “get a breast reduction” route, that sounds good in theory, but guess what? I cant find a doctor within 32543252 miles that will operate on me, because im either too young or im not a “high risk” patient. WTF? (excuse my language) but getitng down to it, im a saggy 36 dd and im scared shitless that any guy will be scared shitless if they seen me naked, in other words im afraid of being rejected (i havent been in so long, that i dont even want to remember what if feels like) so i guess my options are wait until im eighteen and get them lifeted but….i want the sex and relationship now, should i just give up on dating ?
Im asking because i have a guys wanting serious relationship with me, but i dont know what to say

[April Masini]

First of all, you’ve got a couple of issues here. Relationships and body image.

So, let’s start with relationships. At sixteen, you have lots of dating ahead of you, and whatever you’ve experienced in dating up to now is just a small fraction of what you’ll experience ahead of you. It’s very normal for you not to have been in a relationship up to now. In fact, lots of people make it to 18 or even 21 without having been in a relationship, so relax. You’ve got plenty of time to be in a relationship and have sex. There is no rush. Don’t manufacture one.

Second, relationships shouldn’t begin or end just because you want to have sex. Relationships that are going to be lasting and meaningful will be based on mutual feelings that include sex, but also include trust, intimacy, support — the man you’re going to be in a relationship with will make you feel good about yourself, and you’ll make him feel good about himself. You’re both going to have imperfect body parts and behaviors, but to each other, you will seem like you are terrific [i]enough[/i] because when you’re with the other person you feel terrific about yourself.

As for body image, I can’t begin to tell you how many people with perfect breasts (by media standards) feel that they’re not good enough. Your body tells a story of who you are and where you’ve been — from scars, to weight lost, weight gained, bones broken and wrinkles earned. If you can learn to love what you have, you’ll be in an amazing place. So many women would love to be your weight, have a flat stomach and thin thighs! Show off what you do have! And take a look at all the celebrities I listed in my prior post, who are small breasted or even flat chested, yet smile for the cameras and show up on the covers of magazines, in the posters for movies, and are all icons of beauty.

Lastly, if your parents are willing to support your breast augmentation or lift surgery, then you shouldn’t have a problem finding a good, board certified plastic surgeon in metropolitan areas. If your parents support this move, then consider going to a big city to have a consultation or two with some surgeons. Don’t go alone because it’s a good idea to have a second set of ears, so to speak, to listen and be there with you during a medical consultation for elective surgery. Be a good consumer, and shop for a surgeon who is right for you. Good medical care is crucial for any surgery, but it sounds like with your parents support, as a minor, you should be able to find qualified doctors who can help, considering you lost 100 pounds and your body has changed because of that.

If your parents are not willing to support you, consider their reasons. Invest the time until you are eighteen, or of legal consent for major surgery, working on yourself and being honest with the men you date about your feelings about yourself, about sex, and about relationships. Experiment with honesty. It sounds like you have no problem getting dates. Now practice intimacy by talking to the men you’re with about their feelings about you, sex, and relationships.

I’m quite sure you’ll have a rewarding and positive road ahead of you in every way, if you do this.

[Author]

Posts