April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › 20 years should everything be 50/50. Please someone help!!
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 11 months ago by
ebonypittman88.
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September 2, 2012 at 11:38 am #5581
Lynette59
ParticipantDear Readers
When I was 15 I fell in love in 1992, in 1996 we got married before moving to ND because he joined the airforce “i was pregnant” we had our first daughter in 1996. We divorced due to being immature and all the pressure of being young, new parents and away from everyone in oct of 2000. I moved back to ca with my daughter and tried to start a new life, he got out of the AF and also moved home in 2001. By oct of 2001 he moved in with me and we were back together “we realized we were still madly in love” in 2002 we had our second daughter, we are still together, happier and stronger than ever “he is my everything”. We have just decided to buy a home, there is no ca. Common law and we never remarried. “my husbands” credit is much better than mine so we are using his credit to buy the home. I mentioned wanting a grant deed on the home “no plans to ever split up but if God forbid and we did, the home would have to be sold and split 50/50. His words “that’s not happening!” he makes 130,000 a year I make 20,000 p/t. I do everything around the house including the things most men in the household do. I make just enough to contribute about 7 to 800.00 a month not much compared to what he contributes financially. He thinks because he will ultimately be paying the mortgage from his pay check that i have no entitlement if we were to ever split. I’m very torn, questioning our relationship, and heartbroken. Please help!! Your advice??Truly,
LynetteSeptember 4, 2012 at 7:13 am #25280ebonypittman88
Participantby law you are divorced, so there is no50/50 as far as i know everything will be a conjugal property only if you remarry. be a passionate loving wife thinking of the great future both of you will share when he retires and watching your children marry and play with pretty grand children., every morning when you wake up tell your self “he and i will be lovers till the end”. when something is broken try mending not throwing
remember there is a law called “Law of attraction” enjoy your relationship your worries may set it in troubled waters.
September 4, 2012 at 8:02 pm #23916April Masini
KeymasterIt appears that you’re not married, and you’re going to move into a home that he’s buying. Unless he puts your name on the title to the house, it belongs to him whether or not you split up or stay together. Overall, it sounds like there are two problems here: 1. He doesn’t want to marry you.
😳 So, you might want to reconsider moving in with him until you’re married.😉 It’s easy to be romantic — but the reality is that you have a child to support and that’s not romantic. But it is part of being parents, and families who make things work have to deal with this business side of relationships as well as romance.2. You don’t have a child support order and you and your ex-husband are legally divorced. So, if he’s making $130,000 a year, and you’re making $20,000 a year, he should be paying you child support — unless, of course, you’re married. A family court can help you determine how much support you should be getting and how to get it with a court order.
Decide what you want to do about these two problems because he’s right — that if you’re not married, he doesn’t owe you half of anything, but since you’re not married, he does owe you child support.
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