Hi, I need your advice. I met a wonderful man on Match.com. We hit it off right away. He is so likeable, and nice. After 3 dates of romance and heavenly bliss he sits me down and tells me that he has cancer of the esophagus. He knew about his cancer long before, but still he had an ad in Match.com! I don’t understand it, well anyways I did not think about that then I’m thinking about it now though. His surgery is going to be on Sept. 2, 2010. and he is going to be staying in the hospital for 10 days after that. I’ve been researching cancer of the esophagus and the outcome is pretty good. I realize now that this is not the right moment for a romantic relationship and so I told him that I would like to be his friend through these tough times, but he became very upset and told me that he did not want to be my friend, see me or talk with me again because it would tortured him. Something in me said that I have to try, I cannot loose him because he is such a wonderful guy and we have so much in common. So I immediately got in my car and drove to his house, he let me in and we hugged and cried. We came to an understanding, to continue having what we had before he told me about the cancer. That happened 3 days ago, however, today I’m having second thoughts again, I feel sad, confused, maybe I’m getting disgusted with him? because I feel that there is so much that I need to comprehend about his situation, and I don’t think that I am strong enough to deal with these kinds of situations. I’m trying very hard to be so understanding, but I don’t know what is happening to me especially when he told me yesterday that he had contacted his ex girlfriend of 14 years, which I undersatnd that he has to inform his loved ones, but she left him 4 years ago, and he says that he trusts her with his personal financial affair, and then he says that there is another friend, a woman who he has a platonic relationship with, who he also met on Match.com, and she has offered her help and cook chicken soup and take care of him. I understand that he needs all the support he can get during these dificult times. Please, I need your advice; I have been getting distressed lately thinking about how difficult it is to deal with all this. I feel that I don’t know where I fit in in his life. He is sick and I am worried sick for his well being, but I have noticed that I am also getting anxious and overwhelmed by what’s going on, and I don’t want him to know about it. His illness and consequences are putting a lot of pressure and stress on me. I’m feeling really sad at this moment.
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