a stressed man

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  • #3694
    relationshipa1
    Keymaster

    So about a month ago my boyfriend came up to me one day just flat out told me he’s unhappy and needed a break. He was telling me that he didn’t know why he was unhappy so I took it personally..I thought I was the reason I made him unhappy. So I made the mistake of trying to fix the situation, I would write him little notes saying that I love him and to be happy..It turns out that I wasn’t the reason why he was unhappy, he has just been stressed out because of everything else going on in his life (can’t find a job, trying to stay in school, all of his grandparents are sick, he lost a bunch of friends). I also made the mistake of being too available..We would hangout almost every day for the first 2 months this going on a break was really hard for me and it lasted about 3 weeks, instead of leaving him alone I kept trying to get us back together which eventually back fired on me because we are now broken up. Is there anything I can do to fix this? Or is this just a lost cause? I love him so much and I want him to be happy but at the same time I’m miserable without him and knowing that I made the situation worse doesn’t help either..

    #17825
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    It’s great that you recognize your mistakes. 🙂 You can learn from them and make your next relationship even better. First of all, when a guy wants to be in a relationship, you’ll know it because he’ll act like it. Your boyfriend did everything BUT act like he wanted to be in a relationship — in fact, he told you he was too stressed out to do so. Next time, listen and pay attention. It’s a mistake to try and be in a relationship with a man who isn’t ready. Second of all, being too available is a big mistake. Men want to chase women — it’s what makes them feel good about themselves and about the woman they’re chasing and trying to win. When you throw yourself at a guy you become the booby prize and not the woman he wants!

    It sounds like this relationship is over for now, and making those same mistakes again is going to make things even worse than they are. You should read a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. It’s called Think & Date Like A Man and you can buy it here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] or on the websites for Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Buy it and read it!

    I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twtiter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url].

    #18710
    katdawg
    Participant

    Hehe might’ve been totally off.

    #18211
    katdawg
    Participant

    the subject is : a stressed man and in the body the poster has a boyfriend. even if i misunderstood this post… April does your book work with same sex relationships?

    #17841
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    I think it should work in gay and lesbian relationships as long as one partner is taking the traditionally male role and one is taking the traditionally female role.

    #18146
    Anonymous
    Participant

    The title is “a stressed man” because I am talking about my ex boyfriend..who is stressed. I’m a woman. haha

    #17858
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    Thank you for clarifying! 😀

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