"All about money…"

[Vegan88]

Hi April, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we started dating he was in college and studying art. He is in his late 20’s, has been in college since high school and still attempting to obtain a single degree. At the beginning of our relationship I stressed how important having a college degree/stable career is to me. He continues to struggle with staying on top of things in order to obtain his degree, has not held a job since high school until now because he was a “full time student”, and currently makes $13/hr teaching art and is perfectly content. He claims he is still trying to get his degree but it’s not “All about money” I try to explain to him the necessity of making more than $24,000/yr to support the family he claims to want in the future and he just says that I need to stop worrying about the future, when he has a family he will worry about it. I am a nurse and currently in grad school. I hate when he says I’m all about money, I just want to know that he is responsible enough to hold a stable career and get his degree after being in college for almost ten years. He just says his happiness is more important than making more money. He is a great guy in every aspect othet than this and I don’t know of this is reason enough to end it. I fear a long term inability to be responsible and support a family. Should I end things now or see what the next few years bring? Thank you!!

[April Masini]

[quote]Should I end things now or see what the next few years bring? [/quote]

😯

The next few YEARS?

First, buy [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], [url]http://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], now! Second, read it. Third, refer to it when you run into problems like this one!

It sounds like you haven’t taken your own goals seriously here. 😕 If you want to date and marry a man who is fiscally responsible and interested in the same lifestyle and financial goals you are — then why on earth would you date a full time career-student who is majoring in art? 😳 It’s very unfair for you to expect someone who doesn’t want to change, and is articulate about it, to do so.

Take a look in the mirror and put your glasses on! You are a nurse, in graduate school who is looking for a man who is going to want to support a marriage and family. Own that. It’s not a bad thing to own! Now, find a man who is compatible, because this one isn’t. Use the new year to start fresh. If you don’t, this problem won’t go away — you’ll just be older when you realize you made a mistake.

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[Vegan88]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, especially on Christmas Eve! I know you are right… Just hard to end it when I have $400 invested in New Years Eve plans. 👿 I will buy your book today, sounds like just what I need. Thank you again and Merry Christmas.

[April Masini]

Hmmm….. I know you wrote that you hate it when he says you’re all about money, so re-read what you just wrote. 😉 You may have already spent $400 on New Year’s Eve plans, but in this case, that amount money is not a good reason to keep a relationship going when you know it’s wrong for you. Consider that getting out of a bad relationship for $400 is a good deal! 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url]https://www.facebook.com/Relationship.Expert.April.Masini[/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[kai]

Find a guy who thinks you’re worth treating to a New Year’s Eve celebration instead of a guy who expects (or even allows) you to pay for him! Sweetheart, this alone is a huge red flag. RUN!

Then, once you’re away from him and start dating again, stop treating guys… Let a guys treat and win you, not the other way around.

I learned this same lesson the hard way, from April, and it’s true.

[April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Author]

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