[abwondering]

Hi April,
I have been in my current job for last 5 months. There is a girl in my office (she works in a different dept though) whom I like a lot and speak with quite often. Surprisingly, when I tried to add her on facebook about 4 months ago, she laughed it off and didn’t accept my request. I did not react in any way and continued to interact with her professionally and very normally. During an office party about three weeks ago, she warmed up to me in a big way (she actually surprised me) and even went to the extent of kissing me. A few days later, out of the blue she accepted me on facebook as well. One day, I heard her talking to somebody on the phone which sounded like her boyfriend and then saw her with flowers too. I immediately asked her if she is in a relationship (infact I just assumed that she is in one and wished her success). To that she reacted a little angrily and said that my assumption is wrong and asked me not to think this way next time. I wrote her a poem along with Christmas Greeting and to that, her reaction was one of chuckle. She wrote back that she loved the poem. When I followed my message up with another mail a few days later (I want to go slow so I waited for few days) she did not react this time. You know, just to keep the communication going, I finally sent her a message today saying that I dont know her well but that whatever I could notice about her, that has left a positve impression on me. As a friend, I wished her well for the year ahead. I havent heard from her again.

Please , advise me if I should just give up on her. Sadly, I dont have her number too. I think, if she doesn’t even reply to my mails, I am compelled to believe that she is not to keen here. Well, she already knows that I like her but behaving this way.

Thanks!!

ab just wondering!!!

[April Masini]

If you want her as a girlfriend, you’re going to have to start acting more like a boyfriend. This means stepping up your game. 😉 I’d be irresponsible if I didn’t advise you to buy my book (it’s only $14.95), called Date Out of Your League, written for men who want to get the girl. You can download it immediately, here. [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. You really should get it because it will give you a crash course on how to get this woman, and I’m going to just give you skeletal advice here. So, get the book! 😆

You have to understand that while you have feelings for this woman, your behavior is what she’s paying attention to, and except for the kissing at the party, it doesn’t sound like you’re really acting like you’re interested in her as a date. If you were, you’d ask her for her number, and invite her out on a date.

I agree with you that taking it slow is often a good strategy, but while you’re taking it slow, the actions you do take should be clear. Friending her on Facebook isn’t a clear sign that you’re interested in her as anything more than a friend. Wishing her a nice holiday season is also friend behavior. That’s why my book will really help you get your game on and your strategy in place.

Women love men who are confident and successful. She’ll be a lot more interested in you as a date if you act like a confident and successful dater. So go after her as if you want to date her, not as if you want to just be friends. You’ll be a lot less confused if your internal compass is pointing to “date” rather than “friend”.

I hope that helps. Let me know if you do get the book and if it helps you and how.

Good luck! 😀

[Author]

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