Am I crazy

[relationshipa1]

I’ve been with this guy for 4 years it all began 5 years ago when my husband died, by the way me and my husband were seperated for 2 years but still had a close relationship for us and our kids. Carrying on to the new guy he came into my life when my husband died and i was not interested in relationships but the fact that his life was similar to mine caught my attention we both married young, we have similar interest and his wife had died 5 years before my husband so I figured who better to understand me and my kids, the relationship started good he was caring, attentive, loving so if figured what the heck!! We toke the relationship to the next level by becoming intimate 4 months after meeting after that he kinda showed somethings that made me uneasy like he became really possessive, he started checking my phone, call me constantly and accusing me of being with someone else??!! I knew that he was getting out of a 2 year relationship when he meet me , and I will admit I have this thing about me that just wants to see more then what there really is in a relationship. I know when he was growing up he was poorly judged and he got a bad reputation due to that, he was know for being angry and a fighter.His deceased wife and their relationship when he talks about it sounds weird, it sounds like she spent her time running away from him and him chasing her I do know that other the women his been involved with including his wife were really disrespectfull and violent towards him and the reason I bring this up is cause I find at times he tries to provoke an argument and he gets upset when I don’t react. He goes as far as insisting that i”m dating someone, and he convinces his self that what he says is a fact. Lately his made it his priority to bring me done, stated nothing I do is right, I don’t appreciate him, I don’t love him and making me feel worthless and meaningless. Weeks ago I really had it I sat him down and let him know like all the other times how he makes me feel cus if i don’t speak up he most definatly will not, how he just makes it his mission to break down this relationship and make me fell worthless, and he always states that I make him feel that way and that I don’t love him and soo on!! I know I not crazy cause i show appreciation, and I thank him when ever he does anything for me, I try to make him feel secure and the fact that he rejects my affection is another thing that really is starting to bother me. His favorite line is its me i am crazy ?? I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong all i do is try to make the relationship work but its getting hard his demeanor is really difficult and I love this guy. I’ve already told him we should end the relationship and I will take all the blame if he saying its me then its me. We went through days of not talking after I told him that and I can tell he forced himself to talk to me to tell me and tell me that he didn’t want it to be over , but he never stated if he was going to change anything about his attitude. Weeks after that he we are again I do have to admit that the I don’t give a sh*t attitude he carries makes no sense to me, his here I gave him the option to leave it makes me feel like his doing it on purpose he likes to see me down, upset and I can’t understand why help me out here I really need advise cuz I know I’m not crazy!!! I love his kids and my kids love him too but after all I’ve been through I want to at least be able to know that the person I’m with loves and cares for me and he shows me neither one but he states that his does, so it feels like I’m in a relationship with a hurtfull child where i say its him and he says its me and so forth. Help me Out!!

[jenlee]

personally if u dont mind me saying.it seems like he’s unhappy from his past, and is taking it out on you. which is making you unhappy. any relationship where either is unhappy is noooo good, especially if hes not going to try to fix this problem. and you are just going to make your kids unhappy by staying with someone that makes u unhappy. and im sure you dont want that for your kids. they will grow up thinking it is ok to put others down and accuse people for no reason, like he is doing to you. soooo please rethink if this is what you want. to be unhappy for the rest of your life and have your kids react this way when they get older? or find someone who will treat you the way you treat them? with respect. cause personally hes not respecting you by going through your phone at all.

[April Masini]

I’m sorry, but since you didn’t ask me any questions, and only uttered a plea (“Help me out!”), I can’t. I can’t help you out. There’s nothing to help you out of. This relationship is over and you’re staying with a man who doesn’t want to be with you. Walk away. There’s no reason to be where you’re not wanted.

[Anonymous]

Hey Jenlee, thanks I’m really taking some time to rethink this situation, I know at this point I am unhappy and its probably not going to get any better between me and him and trying to make it work isn’t working. So, again thanks for your feed back I appreciate it.

[April Masini]

You didn’t ask the question you needed to ask: “Should I leave him?” If you had, I would have told you, you’re not crazy, and the answer is yes. He’s not right for you. Why be unhappy when you don’t have to be? Move on! Deserve a healthy relationship. Show your children what life is about — making mistakes and moving on to correct them.

Don’t stay in a pattern where you don’t leave bad situations. Be active in your life, and set an example for your children — and yourself! 🙂

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