[Aprilv54]

Hi April,

My partner and I have been together for four years and we have a son together. He has a female friend who he has known for a little longer than me. Him and this friend had always gotten each other birthday gifts but it was things like tea, t-shirts, and cook ware, as they are both chefs. However this year she decided start sending him stuff for Christmas and she sent a package with multiple gifts, including a book that was at least $60. Then for his birthday she had gotten him another package of gifts this time including a video game system, even though it was an older model. I told my boyfriend she is going way too far and to tell her to stop and to return the game system but he says I’m being jealous and overacting. Am I just being jealous or is she really being disrespectful and out of line.

[April Masini]

It sounds like this situation calls for some different choices than simply being right or wrong. 😉 Clearly, you have competition. Your boyfriend and this woman have a relationship that is becoming more intimate as her gifts to him are becoming more expensive. But, instead of telling your boyfriend to give the gifts back, which creates drama and acknowledges your jealousy, try to take a softer, higher road approach. 😉 You can be right in your concern that he’s got a relationship with this other woman, but you don’t have to dump your jealousy in his lap. Instead, focus your energy on your relationship with him. Work a little harder to win him over so that he wants to make you feel special and isn’t interested in this other woman. If he didn’t care about her, or if you didn’t think they had a special bond, these gifts wouldn’t matter, but the gifts are just a symptom of what’s really going on. He’s got this relationship that’s worrying you. This isn’t his fault…. as much as it’s a relationship problem between you and him.

I hope this helps.

[Author]

Posts