Am I still in love with him?

[confused]

Hey,
So my boyfriend and I have been together since June of 2007. I was fifteen at the time, he was sixteen. Now I am eighteen, he is nineteen.

When I was seventeen, my parents made me move eight hours away. We tried to make it work, but ended up breaking up for one month. During that time, we both dated other people. But we couldn’t do it, and my boyfriend moved to where I was. We had really bad luck and a few months after I turned eighteen, we moved back. I am really family oriented and it hurt to not see them, but for him it was all worth it.
Unfortunately we are still having bad luck, so we both decided its best that I go home to be supported by my family.

At first I was sad, but now I don’t know how I feel. Everything he has been doing lately annoys me so much.
And I keep finding things about him that I can’t stand.

For example: Him and his best friend are constantly together. He ditches me for him all the time or his friend has to be there too. Its always been like this, and I have mentioned it to him about how much it bugs me, but he doesn’t seem to care. So now I am thinking? Well he’ll have his best friend anyways, he doesn’t need me.

And then I can’t stop thinking about the girls he dated when we broke up. He stopped talking to them as soon as we got back together, but I can’t help but be so angry with him that he would date those type of girls. (They are nothing like me) which is totally selfish, cause I dated too and I wouldn’t hate it if he thought that way. But it makes me think, well I’m not his type anyways, so he’ll be okay if I break up with him.

I used to always love hanging out with him and constantly texting him. But now I just don’t care. It actually annoys me when he calls and texts or IMs me. I don’t ignore him though, cause I know he’ll know something is up with me.
I find it hard to even say I love you too him at night. These feelings keep bringing the question up, “Is he the best I can get?”
I even signed up for an online dating website to see what other types of people are out there, but started to feel guilty and deleted it the same day.
It makes me so sad that I feel this way. I don’t want to feel this way. I cried today, when I realized that the feelings and thoughts I have been having are pointing in the direction of not being in love with him.

He even asked me to marry him, before he leaves to the marines in July. But I don’t feel engaged…. I was excited at first, but now I just don’t care. I feel like its almost silly to be engaged. I don’t wear my ring, when he’s not around, cause it doesn’t feel right. I know he wouldn’t mind if I wanted to wait to get married or if I wasn’t ready to be engaged, but I don’t know if its that, or if I just don’t want to be with him anymore.

Do you know what it is I am feeling? Am I not in love with my “fiance” anymore?

Please help.

[April Masini]

You’re not in love with him — you just didn’t get the memo. 😆

Give him back the ring and tell him and yourself that it’s over. 🙁

The feelings you’re having that are bothering you are the feelings that almost all of us have as teenagers about our first loves. You obviously had an important relationship with him when you were 15 years old, but that relationship is over. You don’t love him, and you need to let go so you can both move on with your lives. It would be unfair to you and to him to stay engaged, let alone marry this guy, feeling the way you do. 😐

I’m sorry you’re hurt. Break ups are supposed to hurt, [i]and[/i] your heart is strong enough for you to get over that pain with time.

[Author]

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