am i the problem?

[bullet92]

Hi
i am 22 years old from iran. i had many girlfriend but i leave them quickly because i was dependent. i am good yet…
but i can’t pickup any girl 2 months! all my gfs told me you are like positive boy ( the told for my face, am not angry boy or bad boy ). i know girls like bad boys but i can’t same them! i respect to people and i like be like a gentleman not a bad guys!
i like to pickup beautiful girls again, here girls has very makeup with pretty dresses!

[April Masini]

If you want to meet women and date them, the best way to do so is to flirt with them. Be friendly, smile, and be interesting, yourself. Have a cool job, and fun hobbies. If you’re outgoing, successful, charming and attractive, women will want to be with you. 🙂

[bullet92]

hey april
thank you for reply

i have a great job. my first problem is i can’t pickup girls 2months! and my second problem is some of girls send short text! when they answer with short text so i can’t be friendly! while i ask question…! it’s a bad point!
P.S: sorry i am not good at english

[April Masini]

Try meeting women in person, and avoid texting — especially if it’s not working out for you. Texting is great, but when you’re using texting to do your picking up, and, and it’s not working, move on to a different medium — in this case, try face to face! It sounds like you have a lot going for you and you’ll do well in person. 🙂

[bullet92]

Hi
how are you april?
i pickup a girl in university today. she is pretty and 20 years old. here pretty girls are selfish and low talking. this is a problem for me because i can’t attracted her to me! i dont have fitness body , but i am tall and i know girls like tall boys and fitness boys!

please tell me what i say when we are in dating ? i read many articles about first dating. but you are a beautiful girl and you can tell me what do you like in first dating? ( i asked about her job, family, hobbies, i told some of love sentence to her, best friends and etc… )
i have no idea

[April Masini]

If you’re not fit, and you think that women are looking for fit men, then get fit! 😉 You can work out, go to the gym, walk, run, swim, bike — there are all kinds of great ways to get fit so that you can meet women — and you can meet women in the process. You’ll meet women at yoga class, exercise classes and simply walking for exercise!

As for this 20 year old woman who is “selfish and low talking”, I don’t think you should hang around with this type of woman. I know it feels good to be able to pick up a woman at all — it’s nice for your self esteem — but don’t waste time with women who aren’t nice or “low talking”, which I think you mean is someone who curses who doesn’t have good manners.

For first dates, you want to get to know her, and let her get to know you, too. You want to find common interests, and if you like each other, pursue them. For instance, if you like studying or going to football games or movies or art, and she does too — which you’d find out as you get to know her on your dates, you can invite her to a movie, or an art museum, or a football game. If you like the outdoors, and she does, too, inviting her to go hiking or for a picnic, is great. Women want to have fun with a great guy, with whom they share companionship and intimacy.

[bullet92]

i really like to fit my body. even i am tall and its too great for tall men! but my problem is my robot ( i can’t exercise, just swim ).
i learn many thing in this post, april… could you write some conversation? i suggestion for go to out but she is busy now. maybe we will see each other 2 days. i need some conversation for long conversation… we talking small conversation
it’s tooooooo bad

P.S: why my new girlfriend doesn’t ask me question? just she asked 4-5 question..!

[April Masini]

Swimming is great exercise, and you should do that — because you’re right — your height is an asset, but being fit is not just an asset, because [i]getting[/i] fit is a way to meet women. Join a gym or a YMCA and go so you can get your exercise and also meet women.

As for conversation, you should ask “open ended” questions to get conversations going. For instance, “What do you like to do on the weekends?” is an open-ended question — “Do you like eggs?” is a closed ended question because it requires a yes or no answer. “What do you like to do on the weekends?” requires a response other than yes or no. She’ll tell you something, and then you can ask her about that thing she responded with. If she doesn’t ask you a question, you can tell her, “I like to…. whatever it is — visit my brother or take my dog for a run in the park — and then ask her a question about what you just said. Like, “Do you have any pets?” You see how this turns into a conversation?

There’s an art to conversation that lots of people take for granted, but if you pay attention to what you’re saying, how she’s responding, and your reactions to her responses, you’ll learn in no time, flat!

Don’t forget to play the field, too. Just because you like this one woman doesn’t mean you shouldn’t forgo other opportunities! You can get to know other women at the same time since you’re not really dating or serious yet with this one person. 😉

[bullet92]

Thanks a million <3 i will more contact with you…
you really helped me. i start to work out today 😀 when you told i should be fit , well i do it because i trust you.
she already has spoken to me and suddenly feels comfortable to me! 😀
Thanks again lady <3

[April Masini]

You’re very welcome! 🙂

[bullet92]

i am jealous of my new girlfriend. because:

1. i try to be multiple girls friend in time. cause i am an emotional person and my doctor told i must have some girlfriend! but i am just with this girl now! so i think about her for example: she has another boy friend? why she doesn’t response too late! what i do if we leave each other and etc…

2.i know she had many boy friend! but she text me i don’t had bf and you are really good boy! i know this is lie ” i don’t had any bf )! even she is beautiful and each boy like to be with her! after that she sent text me with another phone numbers. well everybody know when a girl has 2 phone numbers it’s mean she has many boy friend!

3. she is really cute , i want to fetch about her ( ask everything about her funny times with boys and ask why did? and). for example she said: i lipstick for one boy in class some months ago hahaha. i’m worried! i don’t like that she does these and i don’t know how can i tell her?

[April Masini]

Dating is competitive, and you have to win her over in order to get a commitment from her. It’s not going to happen right away, and you should use the first three months of dating her to decide if you want to continue dating her. If you do, and she does, too, use the second three months of dating to decide if you want to be monogamous. 😉 So slow down, and understand that she’s definitely dating other people since the two of you just got to know each other — and you should be dating other people, too. You don’t want to commit to someone too soon, before you know her — especially if you’re very emotional. 😉

[bullet92]

hey April..
i am not feeling well. i walked with that girl last day. i saw a car coming, suddenly she said bye and got in car.
i called her but a boy answered me. after that i backed to university. he come to me and he told i’m not her boyfriend but my friend is her boyfriend! she told i have some reason for giving phone number. then leave her. i never argue with him because i understood she has some bf!

you don’t know what a feeling after this happen 😥 , i try to happy her, and she was happy for my words. even she told you are really good boy and very energetic.
it was not my right 😥
i sent a long message to her today.i wanted make her feel of guilty. summary:
do you remember told me you don’t have boy friend yet when we sit on the chair? do you remember i love a person but he is not with me? you were single! but now you are saying i have boy friend?!
etc….

she said: i have my reason why i don’t say you for my bf. i love him and he loves me! we are not friend each other. it’s my wrong…. please don’t upset me with your words. leave me.
—

i had good feeling with her. we were happy in dating. she always looked my eyes and we can understand our words. i had many relationship but i was happy with her.
i want a girl, she made me understand, she just be with me 😥 i’m bored. of all the relationships that will be leave. i want a long relationship with my favorite girl. but people are change! they looking just for sex, car,money, more relationships and etc.

[April Masini]

She’s not into you, so it’s a good idea for you to accept the rejection, even though it hurts, and move on. That’s how you’ll start feeling better. Rejection is a gift because it allows you to see which doors are open for you, and which ones are closed. 😉

Also, you need to understand that relationships and dating are competitive. You’re going to have to compete for these women to win them over. 🙂 That’s why playing the numbers game, and giving yourself three months of dating a woman to decide if you want to continue dating her, and another three months of dating her to see if you want to be monogamous, is what I recommend. I know it’s fun and romantic to get involved quickly, but it often ends with heartache because you don’t know each other well before getting involved emotionally.

I hope this helps.

[kai]

It’s always much better to ask a girl out face to face . It demonstrates that you are confident. Women are attracted to confident men. In fact, April says confidence is the #1 quality women are attracted to.

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