[Alex20]

Me and my bf have been together for about a year. At the beginning we had sex almost every day, few times a day. But not long after, we stopped having as much sex, which I suppose is normal. But it’s only been getting worse. He watches porn almost everyday, even when I’m home. I used to be ok with that, we used to watch porn together, but now he’s just doing it by himself early in the morning when he thinks I’m sleeping. Whenever I try to initiate something sexual, he usually shuts me off, saying he’s tired or not in the mood, but it seems he is always in the mood for porn and masturbating.
When I try to talk to him about it he gets mad and says I complain too much about it. is there a way I can talk to him about it? What does it mean when that happens? Does he not loves me anymore? I love him so much and I don’t want to leave before I know I tried everything I can. Please help.

[April Masini]

Fill me in a little more — how old are you both? And how often do you have sex?

The fact that he gets embarrassed when you bring this up means that it’s bothering him, as well. If he just brushed it off, or laughed it off, it would be less of a problem. But it sounds like this is a problem for both of you. It sounds like talking to him about it isn’t working, so if you can learn something from what he’s watching, that might be helpful. There are all sorts of porn — is there something in what he’s watching that you can incorporate into your sex life? For instance, some couples like to watch porn and then have sex, or watch porn while they’re having sex. Other women may want to figure out what he likes that he’s watching that he isn’t getting in real life — and then try it in their real life sex lives. Maybe spicing things up in the bedroom will get him more interested — lots of times, especially around the one year mark — couples sex lives’ flag and if there are ways you can make things more interesting, that might help more than focusing on the porn issue.

I hope this helps. 🙂

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