Break up

[busybee]

Hi,

I have been dating a guy for four years and it has been long distance. My birthday was a couple of months ago he visted and he said he loved me to death and wanted me to wait for him. I was willing as long as he put me first. He agreed. The following weekend I tried calling him leaving voice message and he never returned my calls so I got upset because I just told him to put me first. This is not the first time. He didn’t talk to me for weeks because he was hurt by my voice message. We started talking again via email and I visited him only to find ourselves having a good time together. This past week I saw him on the google chat which he invited me to join two weeks earlier. I sent some jokes and told him hope is day is going good. He replied what do I expect from him. He said he is tired of long distance and couldn’t wait for the summer for me to move. I had given him plenty of opportunities over the four years to leave but he didn’t want me to leave. The same thing happen this week he replied “to be honest I don’t want you to leave” and I am not sure what to do. He wanted peace because he tired of me crying because of the stupid things he has done. My thing is why don’t he try to fix the problem if he don’t want to see me cry. I don’t understand just a few months ago he wanted me to wait and LD wasn’t a problem now LD is a problem again. I feel like he is confused and wants to date other people but keep me around. I ended all contact because I can’t keep going through this cycle. Did I make the right decision?

[serendipidous55]

I think four years is long enough in a relationship for you to 1 have clarity about whether it is right for you to move there or not 2. to decide if you are getting married ( if someone asked me to MOVE to be neatr him, I think I would make that BIG decision if there was a BIG decision he was making for my benefit) 3. not be playing games in communications ( it sounds immature that he turns on and off and invites you to chat rooms etc.)

At BEST RELATIUONSHIPS ARE CHALLENGING. tHEY REQUIRE GOOD COMMUNICATION; RELIABILITY AND RESPONSIBILITY; A WILLINGNESS TO COMMIT; AND MATURITY. It does not sound that this relationship has most of those elements. That is not to say that you are a bad or immature person; it may be that the relationship does not bring out the best in you. I am a mature woman but when I am on the dance floor of life, the man is still leading….. Give it some thought and while you are thinking, go on the web internet sited and see the scores of men in your area and look at their profile. If you are the least bit interested or thinking your dar wawasy lover is lacking, then really consider moving on…..

[April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Author]

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