[relationshipa1]

hi there,

i recently met this guy through frends ( he was goin around telin my frends thats hes really interested in me), anyways, he does a lot to impress me for example he organises an interview at his company for me and we go for a movie and stuff aftrwards, he texts me atleat 10 times a day etc. so i feel he really has a thing for me…so, we go on a date… it was the sweetest thing in the world , he took me to dinr at the high class resturant followed by a walk on beach etc…he made me feel soo special that the date led to us goin back to his place afterwards..
the next few weeks were good too.. the calls kept comin ( however not to the ealier extent) and we kept meetin up and having fun…i even went over to his plc one nite and he tells his frens im his girlfrend!! and so i believe this is it…

a month later, the changes begin, i have to msg him atleast 5-6 times before he can answer once, and he just seems so aloof…i see him once a week, cant contact him for days togethr and things just start falling apart….
then 1 day , after im back home after spending the nite at his place, i receive this huge email from him sayin that he never wanted to get into a relationship so fast and because im startyin to love him and he jsut doesnt fell the same , he doeant think its fair to hve a physical relationship anymore…. i was soo heartbroken, all this time id begin to believe id actually met someone who liked me as a person and wanted to be with me … ( iv always had guys whod nly want to have fun always and would never want to commit, its happened so many times that iv begun to believe the fault is in me!!)

but i stil love him…. with all th tears hes caused me i still want him back….
what should i do??? pls help….

[April Masini]

I’m genuinely sorry for your broken heart. 🙁 Rejection is really hard, and it hurts. When you can’t have what you want, it’s very disappointing, but when that thing you want is a man, and he doesn’t want you back, it can feel demoralizing.

Okay, dry up your tears. The pity party is officially over! 😉

The wonderful thing that this guy did was to be straightforward enough with you to not waste your time. He respects you enough as a person to let you know that he’s not into the relationship and he’s giving you back your life so that you can move on and find someone who is Mr. Right. 🙂

So take his very clear message, and turn yourself around. It’s one thing for you to think someone is perfect, but in order to make a relationship last, both people have to want each other. If both people don’t, there’s no relationship.

My book, Think & Date Like A Man, will be great healing material for you right now and it will absolutely help you get back on your feet again. You can get it here. [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] This is a great book for women who want to find Mr. Right, get him — [i]and keep him! [/i]

You’ll learn tips and advice that you may have missed in this past relationship, about giving the man something to chase — because that’s what men want to do: chase a woman they think is a prize, and then win her. If you throw yourself at him (texting him too much, e-mailing him too much, making yourself too available), he may not think you’re such a prize because you’re too easy. Remaining alluring and mysterious as well as sexy, fun and solid, is a balance that women who get their man, learn to master. Learn how to do this for next time.

Again, I’m sorry for your pain, but hard times are opportunities for change in behavior, and positive turns in life. I hope you’ll take this break up as just that — a good opportunity for you to make your life better.

Good luck! 🙂

[Anonymous]

hi APRIL,
wow!! im just a small message i guess uv understood my plight…. i have a feeling that when i like somebody i give them my all and hold nothin back in showing them how i feel… i guess i need to learn to play heard to get…..i do find it really stupid , but i think sincerely thats what change i need to make…. never show them ur vunerable….

do u think that he used me april?? thats absolutely how i fell like now,and that he was bored…. and that his reason of not wanting to hurt me was just to make himself look good to me…

what do u feel ?… i donot think i can believe in love again, and any other opportunity will just make me feel that its not forever….and love does not exist…. iv been a believer oh so long , but evrytime somthing like this happens i have lost more and more belief in true love….( many of th guys iv met have just wanted to hav a fling and then disappear ):((

[April Masini]

Listen, you can do your best and give your all, but if two people aren’t interested in each other in the same way at the same time, it’s not going to work out. Rather than blame yourself for having given your all, why not accept that not everyone is a perfect match for you, and that dating is a process. You have to get out there and figure out what you want, what you have to offer, and how to get what you want. But it takes playing the field, like a numbers game. The more you date, the more likely you’re going to find the right guy.

You should check my book, Think & Date Like A Man [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], for more help in this arena. You’ll really thrive on this advice.

I don’t think your ex-boyfriend was bored or that he used you. I genuinely think he took you on a very thoughtful and lovely date, but as you two got to know each other, he realized it wasn’t a good match for him. He was respectful enough to tell you so.

Finding Mr. Right isn’t easy — but then again, most good things in life take work. Value yourself enough not to quit and give up. Read my book. I know it’s going to help you. 🙂

[Author]

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