Dear April,
My best friend Aly is interested in an older guy, and I don’t know if I should voice my concerns.
She’s a senior in college. This summer she started hanging out a lot with a director at the camp we work at. They eventually kissed, and are still in contact through text to the point of meeting up next month. The thing is, he’s 15 years older and was our boss.
On one hand he’s a good guy, they seem to care about each other, be having fun and not taking it too seriously. On the other, there are some things I find concerning.
Firstly, he broke up last year with a woman his age (and his “status” at camp), and some of the other bosses including his ex (who knows nothing and Aly is still friends with) might frown on his and Aly’s new “thing”. Although it’s flirty and fun I know they also really care about each other. Why potentially make each other look bad/unprofessional? How would she handle the stigma if things got serious?
Second is the age gap. Aly can certainly hold her own but there’s no getting around that he is mid-30’s while she is early-20’s. Him being our boss makes the power imbalance greater. Is their dynamic inherently unhealthy?
Should I be more open-minded? Supportive? Does this all sound unhealthy or normal? Should I say something as a friend? Is it possible they could start a good relationship? Should I keep quiet but prepare to support her through a train wreck if this ends poorly? Or should I trust that they are both good people and will work it out without anyone else prying into their business?
Thanks,
Lula
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