Confused about a "friend with benefits"

[FDX71710]

I’ve recently started sleeping with one of my coworkers. We’ve always flirted and we get along so well. The attraction we have to each other is so intense. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing because in the beginning I thought we were just FWB. We kiss and cuddle after sex and he tells me I’m beautiful. At work he always compliments me and he’s constantly watching me. He does text me and always tells me he’ll get ahold of me after our shift is over, even when he goes out I get late night drunk calls. He remembers things I tell him and even brought me one of my favorite things to work one day. It all just seems strange to me I don’t know what to make of it. Advice?

[April Masini]

I’m not sure what you think is strange — what you described is a full on friends with benefits relationship. What’s confusing to you?

[FDX71710]

I suppose I just didn’t think he’d get jealous when I mentioned other guys and also take me to meet his mom. I guess I always thought FWB was just a private thing.

[caseyghatchell]

Having sex with coworker, I don’t think your relationship is not in friendship stage anymore. Your coworker is totally falling in love with you.

[April Masini]

If he’s showing signs of jealousy, it’s because he wants you for himself, and his taking you to meet his mother is probably another sign that he wants this to be more of a romantic, traditional relationship and less of a FWB relationship. If he’s introducing you as a friend, the way he introduces other friends to his mother, then this is not a big deal, but if he’s introducing you to his mother because he wants her to know who he’s dating, that’s a sign that he’s trying to leverage this into more than just FWB.

Relationships change all the time, and it’s very normal that a FWB relationship dynamic changes when one person wants more — which pretty much always happens at some point! The question is, what do you want? Can you answer that one?

[Author]

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