April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › Confusing Cause
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June 18, 2011 at 9:37 pm #4306
relationshipa1
KeymasterI have been in relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months and we have twins who are now 6 months old. Throughout the course of our relationship we didnt have much time for just us with me being pregnant and the up and downs that can cause. But now after the twins have hit the 6 month milestone I have been trying to re-open communication and try to bring new and exciting things into our relationship and also our sex life. My boyfriend seems open to it when I talk about it in casual discussion but when I take a step further in getting us to go out and do something new or try something new in bed he has a hostile reaction that makes me feel so lost as in why he seems to shut down all my efforts to improve our relationship. Should I continue to try and make these ideas work and feel shut down or should I just stop??? It’s getting hard to tell what he wants and what more I can do to bring back this relationship. June 19, 2011 at 9:00 pm #19611Anonymous
ParticipantLEt me say first I’m not tring to be offensive,How old are you guys??? I’m assuming young.
So, within two months of being with this guy you got pregnant? You didn’t know this guy and you decided to reproduce with him? Even if it were a mistake,There was no time to form a soild relationship. He’s probably overwhelmed.
Did you gain alot of weight? it would be expected after twins. It may have something to do with it.
More often then not, he’s stayed with you because he obligated to due to the twins. I would suggest preparing for a breakup .If you really care and want to maintain the relationship, go head, but don’t expects alot of good to come from this.
Just worry about yourself and your beautiful babies🙂 June 20, 2011 at 6:18 pm #17782April Masini
KeymasterWow. And I thought [b]I[/b] was no holds barred![b]Donttakemeseriously[/b] really let loose! But you can understand why, of course. Clearly, it’s a lot better to have children after you get to know someone better, and usually after getting married, but since you took a “more creative root”😆 let’s deal with what’s going on today.😉 I don’t know how old you are, so I’m going to guess you’re young. That said, since you have six month old twins, it’s going to be best for the kids if you can make the relationship work out and give them a traditional family. It also sounds like that’s what you want to do for yourself.
🙂 Traditional ways to get him more interested include getting yourself back in shape and getting out of mommy mode so the two of you can rekindle some romance. Getting away for a weekend and letting grandparents babysit is great for couples with young children. Become the girlfriend you were before you were pregnant and before you were a mother — or aim for that, anyway! Regardless, it’s best if you don’t give up because it’s no longer just about you. You have twins who need their father and if the two of you can work it out so you’re a family under one roof — that’s usually better for the kids.
🙂 The problem is going to be if he feels like he’s been trapped into a high stress situation (Even couples who try to have kids and end up with twins are stressed!) and he hasn’t accepted or made peace with his future as a father and possible husband.
I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link:
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