Dated a woman for 4 months she broke up with me even after she said she wanted to marry me.

[whatheruck]

Dated a woman for 4 months she broke up with me even after she said she wanted to marry me.

We met at work while I was training her. She initiated the first “I Love You” and kept saying “I want to marry you”. She broke up with me because she wanted spontaneity and crazy, hardcore sex. Was she a complete freak? She said there s no second chance of us getting back together. She says and I quote “I m good at being alone” Does that mean she wants only one-night stands?

She has had numerous one- night stands and no relationships that lasted longer than 4 months. She would treat me like crap and flirt/grope guys right in front of me. She said she wants to still be friends.

Do I give up and move on or is there ever a chance she would give me another chance?

……I fell hard for her. I’m curious what she’s doing since she deleted me as her friend on Facebook. When can I make an attempt to add her back as a friend? Should I suspect that after a month she found someone else to whore around with? She only hangs out with a guy from work & his boyfriend. Thanks.

[April Masini]

First of all, if anyone breaks up with you after four months of dating, it’s usually for a specific reason. Sometimes they’re just not into you, and it took four months of dating to figure that out. Sometimes it’s because they met someone else. Sometimes it’s because they don’t want to date, period. Anyway, the fact that you’ve suffered a rejection is painful and I’m sorry, but it sounds like this woman just isn’t into you — and I’m not sure why you want to date someone who isn’t into you. It would be a lot nicer to date someone who wants to be with you! 😀

Next, it sounds like you dodged a bad situation — if she’s telling you that she wants to marry you, within the first four months, and then breaks up with you, she’s not someone who’s focused on consistency or stability. 🙁 She lives in the moment and that means she may be spontaneous and exciting, but she’s not someone you can count on. And it sounds like you want someone you can count on. 😉

And lastly, I think a good rule of thumb for you to follow is to use the first three months of dating anyone, to decide if you want to simply continue dating them. If you do, use the next three months to decide if you want to be monogamous. That way you won’t feel like you’ve got all your energy focused on one person with whom you don’t yet have a commitment. It’s like playing the numbers game, and not putting all your eggs in one basket to hedge against drama and hurt. 🙂

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and if you have any other questions, please ask!

[whatheruck]

Great advice Thanks.

Both my brother & sister-in-law got a crazy vibe of immaturity from her when they first met her……..she did think it would be a good idea to breakup with me over a text. Too bad I didn’t catch it before we returned to her hometown before the 2nd of the 3 weddings we attended together.

She deleted me from Facebook after one of my acquaintances (from a night of drinking) texted her using my phone asking if she wanted to be my prostitute. I apologized the next day after I found out about the text. I even had the guy apologized to her. She said we would be friends again, but she just needed some time. Do I ever make an attempt to add her back?

Its hard to see her having fun through our mutual friends. I wasn’t friends with them before we got together. Would it be a bad thing to delete them?

Thanks.

[April Masini]

[quote]Do I ever make an attempt to add her back? [/quote]

Nope!

[quote]Its hard to see her having fun through our mutual friends. I wasn’t friends with them before we got together. Would it be a bad thing to delete them? [/quote]

Nope, again.

Focus on moving forward and being civilized in doing so. Don’t look back. 😉

[kai]

She did you a favor breaking up with you and deleting you from FB. She is forcing you to move on with your life and find a great girl that’s right for you. It would have been far worse if she had dragged things out. It’s the old bandaid adage, “pull it off fast, it hurts less”.

[April Masini]

Great advice!

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