[relationshipa1]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now, and I feel like I’ve had to modify my standards. I’ve never been in a realtionship for this long because I knew when to say “when”. My current boyfriend always gave me the benefit of the doubt. Yet I had time to think about where we are a year later and I’m not liking it. My boyfriend is extremely lazy. I am working on a bachelor’s degree and am on track to graduate next year with intentions of moving on to Grad School. My boyfriend works part-time for the city’s park and recreation department, a job he’s had since his sophomore year of high school. After flunking the fire academy two years ago, he hasn’t bothered going back or trying to get any career started at all. He loves sports and has even considered going to school for Sport’s Administration. I tried helping with his decision, but he realized that he’s not the school type, so he dropped it. Recently he was supposed to be taking a Police Department test, and he never showed up. He goes as far as to get physicals done at the doctors to make advancements to finish his fire school, but he ends up stopping at the registration process. Luckily, I’m not a girl who needs to rely on a man’s future to build on mine. I think I’m doing quite alright on my own. Yet, this whole job and career indecision seems to set the stage toward how he will continue to conduct his life. He’s perfectly content living with his parents for a long time.

As far as that goes, he gets me to believe that he loves me unconditionally and that I’m the only girl for him. Ok, well he has a hard time showing it. In the past year, we’ve gone through our first Christmas, Valentines Day, Birthdays, and of course, the anniversary. My boyfriend has been at a crossroads each time because he never knows what to get me. He doesn’t even think about it because he’s sure that I’ll just tell him anyway. That is not the way it works! I’ve never been surprised on any of these days. Anything romantic might as well be Taco Bell when I leave it to him to decide. I swear, If I was Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys Quarterback) he would turn gay and put me at the center of his world and go above and beyond to make me happy. Yet, he’s happy just getting by with me. I spend weeks and sometimes months planning the perfect thing to get him, and he can’t spend a fraction of that time on me. Getting fancy is getting a pizza. This is totally not about money, anytime I’ve wanted to get a bit further (more so to show him that it’s ok to do so once in a while), I’ve been the one to pay. I just wish he’d really try and think about things that will make me happy. Sex is boring. Yes I get my end in, but he tries to make that happen as quickly as possible so he can get to himself.

I don’t know why I’ve stayed in it this long. The truth is that I love him. I know he pays attention to me, but when it really matters he draws a blank. To think, he even told me on the day of our Anniversary that all of his money goes to me. Not true. At midnight I called him to wish him a happy anniversary, and he was on his way to a strip club with his buddies (yes I let him go because he might as well and lie about it, how am I to know?). The monday before that, he was at the Casino with his best friend, gambling at the poker room. How can he even say that? I never make him take me to the Cheesecake Factory, Grand Lux Cafe, Red Lobster, or any fancy restaurant on the Miami Strip. Like I said, Taco Bell, Chinese, or Pizza. So I guess it’s more that I love him, but I’m falling out of love with him. I know men have the capibility to go above and beyond when it matters, I’ve seen it happen in front of me. The most idiotic of men know that on the few special occasions during the year, it’s time to step up. Yet my boyfriend chooses to step down then cannot see why I would be disappointed. In this case, I know I can do better. He leaves me wondering if I’m even worth the effort. That’s a terrible and sickening feeling. I chose him. So what do I do? His laziness and my exhaustion from picking up the slack is making my relationship struggle. If he was as into me as he is into sports I wouldn’t be feeling this way. And if he was as enthusiastic about other aspects of our relationship as he is to show me his erection, I wouldn’t be seeking advice. HELP PLEASE!

[April Masini]

Hmmmmm….your boyfriend may be chronically lazy in life, but you, my dear, are the one who’s lazy in love! 😮

It’s time for you to start working at finding a man who is compatible with you. This work isn’t easy, and it’s different from the work you have to do to achieve a bachelor’s degree or even a master’s degree. It requires introspection and learning to know yourself and what you want in a relationship, and how you want to feel when you’re with a man. Clearly your current boyfriend who you profess to love, doesn’t satisfy your needs as a person. You have way too many (legitimate) complaints about a man who has clearly established his patterns as a person.

Breaking up and getting back out in the dating world is hard work, but it’s the work I’d like to see [b]you[/b] doing. Buy my book (it’s inexpensive at $15.95) online [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], (and it was written for women to learn how to get the man they [i]want[/i]) and read it. Stop being lazy in love, and muscle up your romantic life! Your current boyfriend may be lovable, but he’s not Mr. Right. At least not for you! 😕

Sorry to be blunt with you (here it comes!), but you need to break up with your lovable loser, read my book so you have all the tips, advice and support you need, consult me here when you’re confused, and start doing the real work that is necessary to find someone who is compatible with your lifestyle and personality.

I hope that helps! 🙂

[Author]

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