Did i mess up?

[Karina2]

So I’ve been texting this guy Curtis for about two months and last week we met up for dinner. We really hit it off and stayed out until 3 a.m. At the end of the night we kissed (a lot) The next night he asked me to come over and watch movies and cuddle. And that’s all we did except for a hot make out session. Then the next night he called to invite me over again and we ended up sleeping together twice. He told me he liked me a lot and I did too but when I said that I really meant it tje next day he just said ok love 🙂. Then we didn’t talk for like 2 days and when I text him to see if he wanted to hang out he said that he already had plans and that was it. I haven’t heard from him since should I text him? Should I wait? Did I mess things up by giving it up too quickly?
Please help me with your advice I’m so confused as to what to do now.
I really do like him and want to see him again.

[April Masini]

Yes, you did. 🙁 Men have sex because they can, and if you had three dates in three nights, and after he had sex with you he disappeared, he wasn’t really interested in you as a girlfriend. 😳 Men want women they can chase and win over — if you throw yourself at him by texting him first, or when you haven’t heard from him, and sleep with him too soon — you’re giving him the booby prize that anyone can get. That’s not what guys want (for very long, anyway).

Also, for women, sex clouds their judgment. It changes things. When women have sex they become emotionally attached and they use sex as leverage for emotional attachments. If you do this too soon, you don’t have time to really get to know who this guy is and if he’s even someone you WANT to spend a relationship with!

You should read Think & Date LIke A Man to learn how to date successfully (and find out WHEN to sleep with him!). You can buy it on the website for Amazon, Barnes & Noble or right here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

Read the book and learn from your mistakes, so next time around, you’ll get the guy who’s Mr. Right and not waste your time on men who aren’t right for you. 😉

I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes, and lease follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url].

[NeilPearson]

I don’t think he is avoiding you because you gave it up too fast. I think he would be acting this way if you had not given it up too.

I’d just call him and talk to him. Be honest and ask him what’s up.

[Karina2]

Thanks for the advice it makes a lot of sense.
But now there’s a new problem and I’m more confused.
After I text him and he didn’t respond a couple of days later he text me something along the lines of hey sweety. Al I said back was hey and that was it. Then another couple of days later he txt me again saying hi and I didn’t text back (every time b4 I got a txt a blocked # would call me and hang up). So yesterday after ignoring him for a while he txt me again saying hi and I said hi then he want on to say he missed me that he wants to see me soon. Now I’m just confused idk want to do. Help?

[jade]

He want to have sex with you again. Then disappear again. 🙄 Don’t respond to his text. Otherwise you will be allowing/enabling his behavior cycle of have sex and disappear and he’ll think that is ok with you. Your feelings matter. Choose not to go into the confusion zone. His actions are clear and you should be too. Just say no. (By not responding).

[JackB]

Just to add a guy’s perspective to this:

I’ve had relationships that moved too quickly, scared me away, and then after I backed off, I started thinking, “Hmmm… maybe I SHOULDN’T have backed away so quickly… I actually do like her….” So then I’d start making small gestures like saying, “Hey, I miss you.” It’s possible that’s what he’s going through.

Or, he could just be thinking, “Hey, she’s easy, maybe if I play my cards right, I can get some more action.”

I don’t completely agree with April that guys like a woman they can chase, and that they’re turned off by women who make the first move (no offense, April!) I, for one, admire a woman who is willing to take the initiative– there are ways for women to do that without seeming slutty or desperate (I agree with April that the slutty/desperate approach won’t lead to anything lasting.)

[Karina2]

Thanks for the advice.
Both of you have given me a lot to think about.
Oh and did I forget to mention that ya I do like him but I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I’m young and just got out of a serious relationship, and he knew that from the beginning. I’m not trying to justify his actions. And even if we didn’t work out in any way I would be cool with just being friends.
You guys have helped a lot and I hope things work out for the best
🙂

[April Masini]

[b]jade[/b] is right. You can expect more of the same from him.

[Author]

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