[joris]

My wife wants to invest in a property to let, and I do not want this. We are both pretty firm in our point. She does not want a compromise like a cheaper rental, but instead says that in case I do not want to join she will manage by herself. As we are married in joint possession, I have a hard time figuring out how one of us can do this on his/her own, and whether such bigger investments should be done only under mutual agreement. We are stuck in discussion. What can we do ?

[April Masini]

I’m not an attorney, so I can’t help you with legal questions, but it doesn’t seem like one spouse should be able to take a loan or a mortgage on a property without the other spouse’s consent since both parties would be responsible for the loan. If she’s buying with all cash, that would seem to be a different scenario. Call a real estate lawyer for your legal questions — I’m not much help in that arena! 😉

However, I can help you with communication issues. It sounds like the two of you are stuck in your positions on this subject, and my advice is to create a deal making atmosphere that extends beyond this arena of real estate. For instance, she wants what she wants in real estate — maybe there is something you want beyond real estate — like an early retirement, or a sports car, or turning the den into a man cave, or no more Thanksgiving dinners at her mother’s house, that you want. Think outside the box and figure out what you want — and then ask her if there’s something outside the box that she may be willing to trade off in compromise. When you expand the trading floor, beyond this income real estate situation, you may find the two of you are more open to compromise and less locked on a disagreement.

I hope that helps! 🙂

[H0p3ful]

I am not sure how the legal end of this works either. But as far as communication goes, you can ask her why she wants to do this? Did you have kids and now you have an empty nest. so your wife wants a project, for example. If you can talk about the underlying reason why she has a desire to take on a real estate project, you can better determine a resolution. I wouldn’t use her desires as a bargaining chip, but I definitely agree with the last person who posted – maybe you could both move forward together in achieving what you both desire (she gets real estate, you get “fill in the blank”). There may also be a piece of this real estate project you could help out with – a part of the project you would enjoy.

[joris]

Hi,

Thank you all for your comments. Our kids are 10 and 13, not an empty nest. She mentions ‘having a better life’ as she believes an investment property will return profit.
Honestly, I do not have enough of my own wishes to be willing to make a deal. Partly because we do not get along well in general.

[April Masini]

Got it. So, then my advice is that you consult an attorney, together, to find out the legal boundaries on this question. Explain the problem to an attorney who specializes in real estate law in your area, and ask if this scenario you’re upset about is even possible. Do it together so you don’t appear to be calling up lawyers behind her back — which may inflame things. Make it a joint project, and take an open minded stance. Just do the research on this topic, and you may even find that this is something she can’t do without your signature and consent. But do it together. And if she won’t join in, keep her in the loop, again, so she doesn’t feel like you’re doing something behind her back, legally. 🙂

[Author]

Posts