[relationshipa1]

I can’t figure this one out at all. I have known this man for at least 10 years. In the past 3 years we have become very good friends. He calls me every day. Sometimes twice. We talk about everything under the sun and I have found out that I can trust him with anything. He’s come to my home on a couple of occasions and I had the most wonderful day at his home once. Even though there has been nothing sexual between us, I know that I wouldn’t mind being with him. And I’m not one to think that way about just any man. It’s just that we’ve both been through a lot of hurt in our lives and I’ve learned so much. He has asked me about my past experiences and I feel safe enough with him to explain things. He gets so mad sometimes that I didn’t realize what the men in my past were all about. He talks about some of his past but not like I have and that’s only because he asks me so much. I haven’t asked too much about his past because I don’t think he’d want to talk about it. And I respect his feelings. If he wants to talk, I’ll always listen. My question and problem is this. I think I’m beginning to have feelings for this wonderful guy. I think about him constantly and he always makes me laugh. I can’t begin to tell you how good he has been for me. I feel safe and secure just hearing his voice. I just don’t have the courage to come right out and ask him how he may feel toward me. I really have the feeling that he cares more about me than I realize. Should I just hang on and hope that one day he’ll come out of his shell? I want to because to me he’s worth everything! And by the way, there’s no girlfriends, boyfriends or spouses involved. We’re both solo. Please let this girl know how to discover what could be my future or to just let it all go. I don’t need any more hurt in my life. Thank you so much!

[April Masini]

He definitely likes you, but I’m not sure if he loves you. What I can tell you is that he hasn’t asked you out and he’s had ten years to do so. 😕 I can’t advise you to hold out hope, but I can advise you to turn up your flirting with him so that he’s very sure you like him as a possible date. You should buy my book (it’s only $15.95) Think & Date Like A Man to learn the low down on flirting and making yourself attractive and datable to him in a way you haven’t yet. The link to buy and immediately down load the book is: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

But that’s not all you should do. I have a feeling you’ve got a void in your life when it comes to men, and you may be focusing your energy on him because he’s easy — he happens to be there. I’m hesitant to say he’s Mr. Right because he hasn’t asked you on a date in a decade, but I’m more concerned about your own life and the amount of time you’re spending getting out there and improving on your own life so that you’re in situations where you can meet men who are potential dates and boyfriends for you.

So turn up the heat and let him know you’re there to be asked out — DO NOT tell him how you feel or make a first move in any way. And at the same time, dial up the energy on your own life so you don’t fall for Mr. RIght Now.

[hoping]

Thank you April. I will take your advice and stay quiet. When I told you that I’ve known him for 10 years, it was only at work. We really didn’t know anything about each other but we saw each other a couple of times a week. The last 3 years he became more interested in talking to me and everything just felt right. He’s far from average and not the type to really talk to anyone. I would have never realized it but he has the heart of a giant. I truly believed that I would never allow any man into my life again. (if only you knew why) And I know that he feels the same way about women. He’s not one to trust but he trusts me. And I was told by several people at work that he really cares for me. I’m just not that lucky to have a man like him in my life but I promise you that if he ever breaks out of his shell and maybe asks me out, I will tell you right away! It will be a dream come true for me! Thank you for taking the time for my problem! Hopefully I’ll be writing you soon!

[April Masini]

Thank you for your kind words. Please understand that my concern for you is not that this guy isn’t special or fabulous — it’s that he’s not ready for a commitment and you’re going to waste three or more [i]more[/i] years on a fabulous guy who has serious trust issues. He may be incredible, but if he’s not ready for a commitment, or at least not one to you (which is all you can really judge him on), then he may not be your Mr. Right.

Appreciate him for who he is, and dial up your dating face so he knows you’re ready and interested, but don’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to a man who albeit fabulous, hasn’t asked you out after knowing you for 10 years and liking you for three more.

He’s great, but your life is valuable. Remember that! 🙂

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