Feel insecure about looking younger than actual age

[Evie]

While looking younger than your actual age may be a good thing for most women, and I’ll probably feel that when I get much older, right now I don’t feel so good about looking younger than my actual age.

Thanks to my mom (who looks younger than her actual age) and genetics, I look younger than my actual age. When I was 25 years old, I was mistaken to be 15 or 16 years old by some people. Now 5 years later, I’m still being mistaken as being 18 or 20 years old. I’m not living in the States anymore but if I am, I will still get carded at the door to a bar. I had people give me funny looks when looking at my driver’s license at the car rental counter at the airport. It’s nice people say that I look young, but when it comes to meeting older guys, it doesn’t feel so good. During the long relationship with my ex-boyfriend, very early on in the relationship, he mentioned to me once (and only once) that when we go out on dates, he felt like he was going out with his sister (he’s an only child so he doesn’t have a sister) instead of girlfriend. That comment kind of stuck on the back of my mind since then. It never bothered me during the duration of our relationship and I never thought about it again. But when our long relationship dissolved, and I’m now having to put myself back out there in the dating field, that comment my ex-boyfriend made years ago came back to mind. Most of the guys I had met in college are many years younger than me, at most 6 years (as I had started college not right out of high school and had been in college for a long time) so the physical appearance thing didn’t bother me, but with older men, it seem to bother me.

Today, I had another chance to encounter a stylist (a guy) at the hair salon that my family has gone to for years. I was there last week getting my hair done with my mother and he was the stylist working on my hair. Last time I wanted to flirt with him and get to know him but I didn’t because I felt awkward as my mom was there. I mentioned this in another post before asking on how to approach a guy next time if I were in the presence of my parents or someone I’m uncomfortable with. Today it was my dad’s turn to get his hair done and my mom and I were just meeting up with him (my dad) after a shopping trip in a nearby district so we can go home together. Anyways, the stylist guy (who I think may be the same age as me or older) was working today. He was standing outside the salon with a colleague/co-worker on a break, recognized me, smiled, and waved hello to me when my mom and I walked into the salon (my mom didn’t even notice him). His colleague/co-worker didn’t even react. I don’t recall seeing him working there in the past years we came to the salon. Or maybe I just never noticed him until my self-realization of how I felt I’ve lowered my standards in looking for a guy. Anyway, while waiting for my dad, that guy and I made many eye-contacts and exchanged smiles. I was feeling nervous in his presence and mentally freaking out in my head. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry (because usually when I freak out regardless of mentally inside my head or physically, my first reaction is to cry. Today I was also chatting with my best friend on MSN on my phone and her mental state was just as messed up as mine at the moment but somehow she would say something random that made me want to laugh out loud). I didn’t talk to the guy until my parents and I were leaving and paying the bill at the reception. He was standing there, I guess waiting on a customer to get back to his/her seat or something. Chatted for a few minutes (and my parents were totally oblivious to the interaction, as they had been oblivious to things in happening in my life as I was growing up). As we were leaving, I couldn’t help but to feel whether he thinks I’m just a teenager or a kid or something. Every time I go to that salon, I am with my mom or both parents (since the parents pay for the bill). It made me feel that he might think that.

So have any women in this forum ever felt that way before?

[cynmarie]

I just wanted to post cause. I am 33 and people mistake me for 16 sometimes
I have 2 kids and they think im the sister. I am married but before i wouldn’t approach guys cause i was scared of getting turned down and guys wouldn’t talk to me thinking i was a minor.

[April Masini]

Please re-post these new posts on the original thread you started (I think it was last week) on this same topic. It’s a lot easier for me and others to answer your questions on the same topic when they’re all in one place. 😀

[Author]

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