[musicman]

Hi April,

If you can give me your opinion in my situation.

I used to date this girl almost a year ago, for like 2 months and things ended. We never were intimate, so she put me in the friendzone

We remained friends on and off, sometimes seeing each other as friends. We would kiss every now and then, but nothing more.

We haven’t been friends for awhile until I contacted her about a month ago. After that, she began to contact me a few times a week at night, and asked how my day was going, etc. She invited me to her birthday party, which was fun. I got to meet all her friends. She then invited me out to her Aunt’s birthday party 2 weeks later, and Im guessing as a friend, however I felt the vibe that I was her date. I was the only guy she danced with, and she was paying all her attention to me that night, touching my legs, arms, etc.

anyway, she was drinking and so was I. she wasn’t drunk drunk, but she was buzzed. She didn’t want me to drive (her and I drove to the party together), so we went to a hotel. Although she wasn’t the one putting the moves on me, she pretty much made it very obvious she wanted to be intimate. She got undressed and got into bed, and told me to do the same. So then I started kissing her and making love to her. It was more passionate than just sex. She had never kissed me that way before.

anyway, half way through, she said she didn’t feel good, so we stopped and she went to the bathroom, came back and fell asleep. I wasnt sure if she was telling the truth or finally realized what she was doing and wanted to stop.

I played it cool. the next morning when we woke up, there were no awkward moments. I actually wanted to try to make love to her again (cuz morning time is my favorite for sex), but I backed off because I wasn’t sure if she regretted what happened. So I didn’t do anything, and I took her home.

and I called her a few times after that night, seeing how she was feeling, flirting with her, etc. She told me she wished she hadn’t drank so much that night, but I would always come back with a witty remark and get her to laugh and so forth.

She agreed to go out to a movie with me last night, and I took her to see shrek because she had told me she loves that guy (what a cool movie!!). At this point, I’m not sure if this was a date, or a friendly hang out. So I didn’t try to hold her hand or anything. We had such a great time. When I took her home and arrived at her place, i offered to open her door for her but she said that its ok and that I didn’t have to (when we dated, i always open the door for her when the date ended, and kissed her goodnight). That ruined my chance to kiss her good night, I didn’t want to end the night without kissing her. She thanked me for the night and said she had such a great time, then kissed me on the cheek. I then planted a few on her lips before she got out, which she didn’t have a problem with me doing

Ok, so you got the whole story, lol. Now here is my question…

If you were in her shoes, would you think that was a date?
Do you think I should bring up the night we had sex?

She reason I ask these questions, is because i want to take her out again, but I would like to get a little closer to her, like hold her hand, kiss her spontaneously. I surely dont want to do these things if she thinks were just hanging out.

What do you think? Should I just be blunt and tell her that Im taking her out as a date?

[April Masini]

Really simple: Yes, take her out on a date. She likes you. She wants to go out with you. She wants you to make the first move, so hold her hand, take her out, bring her flowers and make this the relationship you want it to be. She’s giving you all the signs the best way she knows how to.

I hope that helps. Please check out my new group, AskApril.com on Facebook and become a free member at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755[/url]

[musicman]

Thanks for the advice April.

I feel I have come into a problematic situation.

This girl is an avid texter. She loves to text. HOwever, that is our primary form of communication, which I dont like. I finally told her that I want to actually call her and hear her voice for a change (I wanted to ask her out on the phone), but she said she doesn’t like to talk on the phone and that it’s nothing personal. I said ok, but she takes a long time to reply. How can I have a conversation with someone who can’t keep one going? I can send a text and get a response 20 minutes later, then send another text and wait another 20 mins? I see this girl maybe once or 2wice max a week, and If I can’t really talk to her between that time other than texting, I don’t see this going anywhere.

Have you seen any situation like this? Is it a bad idea to try to start a relationship with her. She is extremely shy, so maybe she is nervous on the phone.

[April Masini]

When you see her one of those two times a week you mentioned that you do, ask her out then. Simple! 😀

[musicman]

Hello April,

well I took your advice.

Its a no go.

I dont really understand this girl.

It seems like the more attention I pay her, the more she backs off, and vice versa. I text her every few days (she doesn’t like to talk on the phone) to see how shes doing, and she texts me the days when I dont text her first. I flirt with her but she doesn’t flirt back. I ask her out but most of the time but she has plans already and doesnt say when shes available. So then I back off.

I dont contact her at all for a couple of days, then she contacts me. I flirt again and she likes it, but she doesn’t flirt back. Then she says the night we had sex shouldn’t have happened, and that she was embarrassed about it, saying that she doesn’t normally have sex with people, and that she only has sex when she’s in love, and that we were both drunk that night, etc.

So then I respond saying she shouldn’t worry about it, and that it was just sex and it didn’t mean anything. Then I told her I will stop all flirting and kissing from that point on.

I see her the next day, and dont really pay much attention to her, and then she starts making all these plans, saying we should do this and we should do that. She kept insisting that I watch the lakers game with her later that day after we both get off work. I finally say ok, then later she cancels on me.

I can’t figure out if this girl is testing me, playing hard to get, or just really wants to be friends. Your opinion is much appreciated.

[April Masini]

You want my advice? Here it is: You need to get my book, Date Out Of Your League, written for men who want more success in dating. You can download it here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It’s a short read, and you’ll come away with a lot more information about how to get the girl.

Right now, you’re coming on too strong and you’re too available and “nice.” Nice guys don’t get the girl, and you’ve started being way too nice. I’m not suggesting you cultivate a criminal lifestyle, but don’t be so available to her. And don’t be so obviously interested. Make her think you’ve got better things to do and other women to see. You’ll get all the tricks to make this relationship work in Date Out of Your League.

Let me know if you get it, read it, and use it — I want to see you get this girl! 😀

[maelene87]

April is correct nice guys never get the girl, I think she backs off because she is embarrassed about what happened and she doesnt want you to think bad of her, at least I would think that way you know? Also I dont think she really likes you in that way because if she did she would go after you and and not shy away, I think the only way to find out is if you really ask her upfront how she feels about things, girls will tell you how they feel if you just ask, then just sit back and listen.

[April Masini]

Thanks, [b]maelene87[/b]. I really, really, really believe and advocate that nice guys finish last. I hope this poster reads Date Out of Your League [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url] and figures out how to not be so available and be a little more intriguing to women. I know it will get him far!

Hope both of you join me on AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url]. 🙂

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